Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

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I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

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My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

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There are way to many other things in this template.

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Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary to hubs and I.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Yep that's right, we've been married 3 years today, and today would've been my father's 71st birthday as well. So today is pretty special to me all around.

On to the past few days. I had an aquantance come into town this weekend, it was homecoming weekend for the highschool and her daughter wanted to come back here to go with her friends and her long distance boyfriend (which mom didn't know about) this woman is a ball of frustration. She's like a jack ball that has been dropped on concrete hard and fast and you can not catch her for anything. She talks with her hands and she paces a lot. (Thats the understatement.) She is going through plenty right now and I truely believe it's flight or fight syndrome. She moved about 5 hours from here for a job she got as a contractor, after she was medically discharged from the military.

She she was giving a series of shots and shortly after started having the oddest allergies. Now she can not eat anything with soy or corn in it. Do you know everything has this in it? She can't even eat cucumbers or onions either, aren't they mostly water? So cooking for her is a treat, but I come up with some great stuff that is easy and filling and she ate and ate! (Thanks to all my handy dandy papmered chef stuff it was easy to do!)
She helped me take one of my dreaded Saturday online test she's a wiz and I let her barrow my digital camra for pictures of her daughter.

On Monday I had another test in Cal and didn't do so hot .... I study my arse off for that test as well. I think I studied it right out of my brain. Well thats ok I'll make up for it next week.

I got word also on Monday about my health insurance petition. I was denied. Due to not having seen my current and new doctor. So on to my 2nd option which is fine at least I have a plan, so today after class I'm calling hubs running down to the base and flipping my insurance over. So I can see who I want when I want and just pay 20 % out of pocket with a $1,000 cap for a rolling year of OCT to OCT. Either way I'll finally get taken care of. Thank GOD. I am terrified of doctors. Doctors of all kinds and sorts. I've been messed up for quite sometime and when I finally find a good one, I have to leave or something happens. A misdiagnosis of my fathers condition and a bad mixture of his medication is what I believe happend to him. Unfortunately I didn't find out to many many months later.

I've been searching for a homiopathic doc in the area with no luck yet but hopefully next week we'll get the ball rolling. I'm really happy, it's a beautiful day and every breath gives me a 2nd chance.

So Happy Anniversary to me!

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:25 AM 0 comments

Pineapple, Pineapple, Pineapple!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Oh how I miss Steve Irwin. In the beginning I thought he was crazy... but I miss him and this just made me laugh and laugh... He'll never be forgotten!

RIP Steve.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 11:49 AM 0 comments

It's like Christmas and my Birthday all rolled into ONE!!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

I have to thank Norman for helping me have a truly happy Friday!

I was getting kind of bummed not hearing any news yet about my health care but I was told to stop in next week because the guy hand walked my paperwork up this morning so it wasn't a total loss and Mr. Spicy got the run around about college through the military but he put me on speaker phone and we set that lady straight! We should be getting about 200 bucks back. Woo Hoo! Which in itself paid for my Pampered Chef habit and then some.

Speaking of Pampered Chef and Norman I got my package today! A whole week earlier than I thought I tore into it so fast the UPS woman hadn't even hit her truck yet. (Let me tell you that is not easy to do around here, they are the pros at dump and run.)

All my heat resistant spatchulas, my new dip caddy. My bamboo cheese board. The turn about and cheese slicer along with my meat forks. Woo Hoo. Hey honey look at all the stuff you bought at the Pampered Chef party you hosted. I got a few more things not pictured here but man o man ... I love me some kitchen stuff. Now I can go through and get rid of my cheap stuff that this replaces. I'm molding my kitchen slowly but surely and .... Oh Norman there is more stuff I want. Muawahahaha!

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 2:17 PM 1 comments

woo hoo..

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I lost 1 pound in a couple of days. My semi-dedication is working could it be truely working? Some people might say thats just 1 pound, 1 tiny see nothing pound.

I say...

1 pound = 16 oz (a box of pasta)
1 pound = 4 sticks of butter
1 pound = a small hand weight
1 pound = 1 of my chunky birds (not quite but I thought that was funny)

Just keep trucking on. If it workds or if it doesn't, it worked today.
I woke up with it being 39 degrees this morning. Burrr and shiver. I'm supposed to have coffee tonight with a friend down the street but I'm not feeling it. I've been thinking more and more of selling my house after a year is up. Just pick up and go with Mr. Spicy on his next journey. Or stay behind and deal with just me and use that time as personal growth. I'm pretty lucky that other than my health that is my biggest problem. Which is not really a problem. Hopefully today I'll get some good news so I can set up a new doctor appt. I'm excited about that. Finally getting some answers.

I'm thinking of getting into a chili cook off but I've never really made chili myself. Hmmmm.... Any suggestions would be good this is going to be for Nov 4th, 2006.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 10:24 AM 1 comments

Left and Right 1 and 2... Oh God make her less perky!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Denise Austin is Kicking my A$$!

Between my sport hula-hoop of death and Mrs. Austin, I'm dying over here! Ok Ok so it's only been about a week of hooping and day 2 of Denise but still, why is this enjoyable?!?!

actually I'm looking forward to getting up every morning. I'm doing good by waking up with out an alarm clock with about 7 to 8 hours of solid sleep when I'm not getting pushed around or sheets stolen from me, I feel ok. Last night I wanted a snack so bad. So I made quite the little spread as Mr. Spicy called it.

I cut up an apple with my handy dandy Pampered Chef apple wedger. Quartered an Orange, sliced up some cheese and a few thin slices of pepperoni and a hand full of honey roasted cashews and took a study break. Mr. Spicy dove right in. I figured if I put in the work he wont be tempted to eat candy and chocolate covered items in front of me. I've also started taking the Spring Valley Brand of Diabetes Nutrition Daily pack and wow.... I don't know if it's just me but my floaters lightened up and I didn't wake up with a knock me down stomach pain.

That is such a blessing! Even though college is a bit tough and I'm super busy from time to time, I think things are turning around and It appears I'm actually getting a few lurking readers! Woo Hoo. I know I'm not that exciting but I hope to change all of that. To top it off my new Pampered Chef stuff should be here in a week. I'm excited. Very very excited.

I've noticed I'm not getting as sucked in by things anymore either. I will admit I'm a full on procrastinator. It's like the whole exercising thing, once I get started I'm ok, it's when I quit for a day or 2 or get thrown off my routine it will take me months to try to start back up. Is anyone else like that out there? OH and here's a brain bender for you if you know me. I don't think I even really like chips. I started to think about it and wow. It is blowing my mind, along with diet soda I like it but now I'd rather have water all the time. Is something wrong with me is my body just saying... I'm done with being unhealthy and bring all good things?
So either I'm losing my mind or changes are really happening.

I guess maybe both. I could be losing my bad habits and gaining new change. I'm starting to get into planning this baby shower it's not to bad it's almost going to be doing it self. I think I need to get one of those things that is made of rubber to go around my stomach to help me reshape while I'm on this kick of working out. Hmm or I could just wrap a garbage bag around my mid section like the wrestelers did in my high school... hahahah. Ok that amused me on such an odd level. Well hubs will be home soon to change his top... Apparently a pen exploded and my idea of getting the Tide pen wasn't a good one. You win some you lose some.

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:56 AM 0 comments

Everyone must have had the same Idea..

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Friday was payday. We had to go to the grocery store I said lets wait till Sunday it wont be so busy... man was I wrong it was an absolute mad house. But hey other than some basic meat for next weekends welcome home bbq for a soldier that came back from Iraq we're all good for about 3 weeks, and thats how I like it. Other than the staples... we're golden.

It's been 55 to 60 degrees all day. It's chilly but not chilly enough to turn on the heat but warm enough in the house not to have to turn on the air. It's been really dry lately, it's lotion season. The birdies are huddled together and we've placed a heavy comforter over them to keep the heat in for them.

Friday I finally got a little bit of hope. I went to talk to someone face to face about my health insurance. I found out a whole bunch of stuff I never knew the past 3 years I have been on it. I also found out I can change my health insurance to a different type.. kind of like an HMO to a PPO and just pay a little out of pocket and see who I want when I want. I can finally go to a real doctor is that possible? I just want my ear fixed... .I can't take the pain anymore and I've pretty much let my diabeties go for a while. I know I'm an idiot. I should hear something by wednesday and on to getting everything fixed about me.

I'm scared. I can't even stand needles and now they are going to have to cut 4 lumps out of my ear and reconstruct it. Mental note earrings and callcenter headsets bad. Never thought of it before all of this happend and I've been fighting for over 2 years to get them taken care of. I'm tired of my mother bugging the shit out of me all the time about them too. It would also be nice to be able to wear my hair up in a pony tail again not just in the house.

To top it off hubs has caused me pain many times because of them. He feels so bad, but if I'm laying down and he pulls the covers / sheets they rub them or if he flops around and hits me in the head while he's sleeping I wake up throbbing.

Keep your fingers crossed... after surgery I have 3 days of radiation and then just hope that they don't come back.

It's 745am on Monday at this point (I was updating a drafted post so the date might throw you) Why does watching Denise Austin ware you out? Man she's is quite the bouncy perky lady. What an inspiration. My truck is covered in sawdust because hubs is building a new speaker box for his jeep and didn't bother to move my truck out of the garage. How nice... *sigh*.... I think I'm going to get started and get moving for the day.... I am thinking of skipping class catching up on homework and house work and start fresh tomorrow.... I've been so run down I need a break.

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 5:54 PM 1 comments

For my Hubs...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 7:55 AM 0 comments

No means no, Mr. Turtle

Friday, October 13, 2006

Sometimes...You just can't make this stuff up.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 7:21 AM 0 comments

Gee Norm I can't sleep... heh

Here it is about 12:10am and I thought I'd post a few pictures. Nothing really interesting to most of you ... just some thoughts in my head at the moment.

This I like to call the sport hula hoop of pain and suffering. I am bruised all up and down my torso and my ankels from the damn thing falling down. I used to be good at hooping but that was a long time ago. Now this thing is 4 pounds weighted and it's interesting. I keep trying I'll let ya know how it goes.

This is pure EvL unless you have a glass of ice water near by. His name is Calypso. He is a green cheek conure and in the beginning was my best friend. Then one day I had to leave it with MIL and FIL and the damn thing has hated me ever sence. My vet said it probably felt abandond and now bites me... it doesn't help that his cage is above my head so it has this dominate thing going on too. Soon he's going back into his own smaller cage maybe we can be friends again. Yes he will steal your ice cubes if you're not paying attention.

This is Spicy he is about a year old and he's my talker and flyer. Doen't really like to be petted but loves to sit on your shoulder or finger blowing you kisses and whisling a song for you. He chatters alot and loves to laugh and yes this is the one with the french accent.

My oldest baby is almost 3 years old. This is a fuzzy picture he doesn't sit still when the flash goes off. Tweeter was thought to be a girl when we bought him so we named him Sompon which is an Asian girls name but then we found out it was a boy. I always wanted a male bird named Charlie but thats another story. My baby here loves most people. Just wants everyone to pet his head. When we bought Tweeter they clipped his wings when I asked them not too and they were jacked up most of the time. One side has grown out but poor Tweeter has never been able to fly. I asked her not to trim his wings but she didn't listen. So Tweeter sits on my shoulder or sits on a paper plate next to me on the couch. For the most part he loves everyone.

Well it's now 1248am and I'm getting tired. I don't even know if my posting even made any sence. I'm normally taking better pictures I'll do my best.

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 12:14 AM 4 comments

"Good Morning Pretty Pretty Bird."

Thursday, October 12, 2006

So I wake up cause I swear I hear a little voice and a set of eyes staring at me.

"Good Morning pretty pretty bird." As my year old Cinnamon cocktail is staring at me sitting on my chest pecking at my nose giving me kisses.

"Why hello Spicy." (yes his name is Spicy)

Spicy says, "Hello baby I love you."

Now I know he doesn't understand what he says. I don't understand why it comes out in a French accent but it's cute and it brightened my day. Now on to the bigger question how the hell did you get out of your home?

Ah, the side door wasn't locked last night and he squeezed out when he saw day light. Such a sweet little bird.

He sings a few songs, and knows a few words/phrases.

Hello, Baby, I love you, Good Morning, Pretty Bird, Spicy, (hubs name), and Hey. I think there is more but I can't always pick it out being he runs some of it together. If we laugh he laughs too.

So on to another subject.

Somehow I got chosen to throw a baby shower for a girl I've only known for about 6 months and only started hanging out here 3 months ago. We were standing around and 2 other girls where like is someone going to throw you a shower? She said I don't think so because I don't really know anyone here, she just got stationed here as well. Then they both pointed at me saying, "Your friend should be doing it for you." Are you kidding me? I don't have children for a reason, and I have been to 3 baby showers in the past 12 years. I buy a present and a card say congratulations and leave it at that. These two women say, "don't worry we'll help you." It's been 3 weeks and no one has said a word other than, one of the women said well, my gift to her is the cake, and the other one said, well my gift to her will be putting the games together. Now I'm pissed the girl needs stuff not just cake and games.

So I get the decorations, which makes me mad because I've decided to spend my money on just baby items she needed. I have no contact with her family or his family and how the hell am I to get this all together? I'm on such a tight budget. My hubs is kind of angry too, he's friends with the husband on and off for a while they were stained together about 4 years ago.

Anyway when I bring up to the 2 women that she needs more things than just party items and they say well you know it's customary that the people that throw the party don't really buy gifts. I had no intention of ever doing this. Not like I have a ton of free time either.

The girl who is pregnat feels bad because she's like I'm sorry that you got pointed out to do this, I just got so excited when I thought I could have a party. And one of the other ladies said she was sorry for volunteering me I want out of this BS so bad. It's not even funny. I'm already dreading the baby games, one of the girls is talking about melting chocolate in diapers.. I absolutely hate this game and if you don't want me to hurl you will not have me participate. In fact I wont participate. I know make me out to be a bitch but hey I didn't want to do this anyway. I figure hubs and I have spent quite a bit of money on her and that in itself is enough.

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:16 AM 2 comments

Yesterday~

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I had a complete and total melt down yesterday. I think I just needed to get it all out. I have forgotten who I am. Wow and that was tough to realize. I'm holding on to things I really need to let go. I have such a strong personality and to top it off I've lost my sense of humor to make fun at ever situation I'm going through.

I've even looked back at my post on here and most of it is me trying / saying I'm going to change. How annoying. My life consisted of me just blending in. Now I'm beyond that. I don't know why or what's making me want to stand out but it's like a clock ticking away at me to hurry up and accomplish my goals. I had lost all motivation, there no sense of focus that I can keep for more than a minute or two. I've actually wondered if it was Adult onset ADD at one point and it's not. It's just me.

My mother and I never and I mean never have had a good relationship. I've been biting my tongue for a long time with her and just taking her bullshit and Hubs knows when I've talked to her because I get completely manic when he comes home he just looks at me and says... Oh hell you've talked to her haven't you. I was so proud of him last night, he was going to call her and talk to her and tell her what she's doing to me. That's the first time in 5 years he was willing to stick up for me with her. I understand him not wanting to get involved but he sees it's going to be the death of me.

Why do I deal with her you ask? Well I deal with her because she's the only family I have other than the prostitute crack head of a half sister, and well I want what is due to me. Maybe not in that order and here is where I feel Karma is kicking me in the ass.

I'm genuinely a good person. I give when I can and I'm told I a good friend to keep in your corner. It takes a while for me to call someone a friend, being stabbed in the back many times before. I'm quite generous when it is something I'm passionate about. My down fall which I personally think is a good trait is I say what's on my mind be it harsh or not. I guess I get that from my parents they were never ones to beat around the bush.

I used to think my father gave the greatest advice, but it hine site all he did was teach me to think for myself, and have faith in myself. Which in itself was great. I had to learn tact on my own. He didn't know the answers like I thought he did. The way I was raised was basically, "If the public school system didn't kill her nothing will." I wonder if he was hoping that I'd let everything in my life just roll off my back. I think it kills my mom to know that I'd give up my life for one more day with my dad. All those years I was around to help her and save her to keep her alive, the blood testing I had to go through just in case she needed bone marrow or anything else, why wasn't I able to be home to help him? This goes through my head at least 10 times a day. Some days it gets easier, some days I've accepted it. I worry though that because I'm still so hurt he hasn't been able to move on. I know in my heart he got what he wanted, and I'm so grateful for that gift for him. I'm just being selfish. So basically here I am bitching and complaining ... wa wa wa what about me. I'm putting it out there for everyone to see.

I never cared about what most people thought of me for the most part. My father and my husband where the only people I ever wanted to be proud of me, but I see I forgot that I needed to be proud of me too. I need an "awakening". I would love to become sort of an "awakened one". Just for myself to find some peace with this battle inside me. I need to start my day. Maybe today will be better than yesterday and yesterday will just be a memory.

Later Days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 7:44 AM 0 comments

Why do I put up with this...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Ok, I woke up feeling decent. I even got in a 20 minute nap before class.
After class something must have happened to my brain because at some point I thought it would be a good idea to talk to my mother. Oh holy hell.

"Got Karma?" check.
"Karma kicking me in the ass." check.

I'm trying to figure out what I signed up for in my before physical life to deserve this. The only way I know she wont get to me is never to talk to her again. Then I ask myself, "What will that prove?" Absolutely positively nothing. Just that I'm pissed off once again and she will have just let it go because she pissed me off and that's her only purpose in life regardless if she sees it or not.

My health isn't the greatest it could be. I've done a lot in the past year to help change that and more so in the past month. I am tired of having my ass ridden every other time I talk to her because I didn't fulfill what she wanted me to do with my life.

Oh wait! I had great plans for my life. I stayed behind to take care of her that's right. Yea I'm full of piss an vinegar. Here I am 30 years old tring to finishing up college, and then start a career that probably wont start working in that field for another 3 years. I need a miracle and a break. One thing or another has to give. I can't stay angry forever I just want peace, financial freedom and total happiness. Oh yea thats everyone's utopia as well. Well I can dream can't I.

Later days~

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 3:07 PM 0 comments

Where I've been.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I think I'm going on 3 or less hours of sleep. This class work load is about killing me at times. A few fortunate things have popped up here and there to ease up life for me a bit but not enough. I'm always scrambling for a few mins here or there.

Before I started this semester I made a few obligations but other than that I've been pretty sheltered in my house with my face planted in a book. I am thankful I have a husband that will run to the grocery store for me and cook dinner to give me a break it sucks taking exam after exam on a beautiful saturday. This should've been a beautiful 4 day vaca for me and hubs but it's the path I chose. Hell I can't even really talk to my friends on the phone except 5 mins here or there, when ever I can pick it up.

I was thankful that a very sweet lady and her husband here guilted me in to having dinner with them by saying, but we still owe you guys a dinner. (Just kidding guys :) ) I must have turned them down or cancelled 5 to 7 different times. So I did what ever I could to finish at least by 6pm that day and bake a cake to get my ass over there. I hadn't laugh that hard in a long time.
I haven't really been able to talk to my mom. Now normally that would be ok... but we're getting along for now and I'll take what I can get. One of my truest friends always says to me. "Sometimes you just have to pick your battles." I'll admit I get way to mad to easy sometimes. I hate having to explain myself or hear explanations because frankly I don't give a damn about most things. Sometimes I'll hold on to things. Eventually it all just goes away.

I like living here in my little south park town. I miss my friends who are scattered all over the country. There's only about a handful of people I would remotely call a friend anyway, I have a ton of aquantences, I think we all do. I wish I could take a part a quality of the people most dear to me in my life and reshape my thinking. I think I do that from time to time and that makes me a better person.
Well I'm tired. I'm out of here today to get my head on straight I'm getting "cabin fever" maybe I'll go look at new cars and go into the next town.

Later Days.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:51 AM 1 comments

Mmmm Orange Tic Tac

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

No that is not drugs I'm feeding my best little buddy. Apparently he likes orange tic tacs too. Disregard my yogurt cup I just had a snack.

OH ya when I pointed out to hubs that Tweets here liked this tic tac his responce was, "well ya it is orange in color, it's hard and it's fruity flavored." Which brings me to this. About every other day we give our little buddies some fruit flavored pellets to share. It dawns on me only they only eat certain ones. And tweets here only eats the orange and yellow ones. Most birds don't like the color red. Now I don't know why it's so threatining but hey. Yes I know my cockitel is a little plump I am too.

Later Days

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 8:58 PM 2 comments

If you know me you know how much I just absolutely I love chicken. All kinds of chicken. Well hubs and I try only to treat ourselves to eating out once on the weekends. Being that I'm in college right now and not working it cuts down on our spending and we save quite a bit of money.

Well the local grocery store had whole chickens on sale. Now I've cooked a whole chicken once before and for some reason I swore I'd never do this again. I forgot why until about 15 mins ago. If said chicken comes with insides you have to pull them out if they are not in a baggy. When they are not in a baggy I freak. You guessed it.... I am freaking like no bodies business.

I know there are vegetarians out there that are probably cussing me out right about now. That's ok. I've cut way down on my meat intake, I even thought about going vegetarian, this puts me one step closer. Anyway here I am with a dilemma, I grabbed some tongs and gave it the good ole college try. I got most of what I think needs to come out. I was really proud of myself but now.... I think there are 2 more pieces that need to come out... What am I going to do. I'm going to give it a few more mins and give it another try.

Why is it when we say we'll never do anything again we forget and say it again. The worst part is I have 2 more chickens in the freezer.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 2:46 PM 1 comments

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