Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

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I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

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My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

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There are way to many other things in this template.

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Why am I so angry...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I find myself these days in crazy mood swings... first I thought PMS... then I thought... wow maybe I'm mental... but I know it's because I am just full of piss and vinegar.

I have bent over backwards to be the kind of friend I am looking for, to be the kind of love that I want, to be the kind of happiness I give to others. In reality I deserve all of these things for myself. I have to figure out how to just give these things to me. I've never wanted to admit those things because I never wanted to sound selfish but wanting happiness is not selfish at all... it's actually self-preservation. I want to be happy to give happiness.

OK so enough of the philosophical B.S. Things are happening around here and happening pretty fast. My hubs is off to take care of his parents so all my hard work paid off. I had a plan for someone to help me clean and move and take care of all the crap he dropped off on me and now that person .... my best friend here... is getting deployed! Yea so I flipped out hardcore, because once again guess who's helping with the kiddo's for at least 12 months.

(I wish I was an iguana.)

My mother is doing the whole guilt trip thing about me moving back to where she's at being hubs is there (because his parents live 5 mins from my mom). Not just no, but HELL NO. So I can be aggervated all the time? What kind of crap is that? I don't have that desire to be close to family. "Family" didn't do crap for me, I am so not impressed. I have a great marriage because I know when to walk away.

Speaking of which, I fell back into the whole I need to explain myself on why I didn't move with my husband, when in all honestly it is and never will be anyone's business. However in todays society if I choose not to give everyone every detail of my life I am automatically classified as a first class bitch. Well ladies... the "bitch" is here.

I talk to much.... I feel to much... so here it is... I'm tired of talking / explaining and I'm tired of feeling. All that wasted energy on people that was never worth any thoughts in my head.

I feel better....

I got so mad this morning that I trashed about 15 garbage bags full and I do mean FULL of stuff. I'm going to have to ask the neighbors if I can use thier cans if they haven't put to much trash in theres. Out of site out of mind I always say.... My garage is finally getting cleaned out. Hubs should've taken care of it... I took it upon myself to finish the job... it's going to take a few more weeks... but I'll get it done. It will stay that way if he knows whats good for him. It will be tagged labelled and organized. Then from there on... If something stays out of place for more than 4 days... I'm trashing it.

I'm done.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:06 AM

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