Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

Other things

I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

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My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

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There are way to many other things in this template.

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ramblings

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

So I'm a little frazzled... it's a good thing I'm going to the gym 6 to 7 days a week it's the only thing keeping me out of 2 story buildings with a HPR or a SAW. My mom is still here 8 more days to go. My friends are telling me that I'm doing rather well for being around someone I can not getting along with. I have to say once again it's the fact I'm in the gym 2 1/2 hours a day burning off the extra energy, otherwise it would be so easy to just drink in my room everynight and cry myself to sleep.

Somedays I feel like a failure as a friend and as a wife to my husband. He is going through the worse time right now and I feel as if I am not doing enough to comfort him. I'm always wanting to fix something or take care of everything all the time, I just don't know what to do right now. He's in this job he hates, his father is slipping away, his best friend who stayed with me is an ass, what does it all mean? I just want our simple little life back. I like having a hot meal on the table when he comes home and his face just lite up, or watching him get his uniform ready for the next day... mmmm hmmm. I love that man. Still just does it for me as he did 6 years ago when we first met. How incredible he is as a person, a best friend, a lover and my soul mate. There is no one person that means that much or close to it.

Can you tell how much I love him? Maybe I'm over compensating in my head. Being here at my laptop dumping out my thoughts is almost soothing. It's just not enough-

I am so not good with having company right now. First a soldier, then my mother, next who knows. One of my friends wants to move here from across the country but I'm going to have to say no. As I am aware now I don't want people in and out of my house. I don't want to be acused of saying things I would never say or have never said. Which has already happend. I'm finding myself getting really pissed off right now. Damn this isn't good.

I wanted to write something funny or whitty now it just doesn't seem like this is going to happen unless I get another drunk night -

Well I'm off Im not thinking clearly-

Later days-

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 9:43 PM

1 Comments:

At 6:49 PM, July 31, 2007, Nicki said…

Sorry to hear that, sweetie. Life sucks sometimes. But you knowing you love your husband goes a long way, you know? Especially if you tell him that.