Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

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I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

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My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

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There are way to many other things in this template.

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On my mind

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I haven't really slept and I've started fasting at 2:00pm and it's a little after 8:00pm here in AZ. I have to fast for a really long as time or my slow metabolism throws the test, lucky me. So it'll be about 10ish by the time I finish with the blood draw which is going to take everything out of me. I feel a panic attack coming now just thinking about it.

I'll be so sick by then I'm not going to be able to eat anyway. Then at 1:00pm I have an appointment to go over how to give injections to myself. How do they expect someone to do this who shakes just poking their finger with a lancet. I'm not a good candidate for this. I have a major headache and it's only going to get worse here. I've even looked into my faith for answers and It states that Buddha does not want me to experience pain but if a medicine can help it would be considered a God send. But if the medicine is the source of giving me grief then we're back to square one.

I feel so alone. I found a web site called www.needlephobia.info and I'm not crazy. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm to tired and hungry right now and my husband has decided to bring up Dale and Thomas popcorn, after I said not to mention food. I know he didn't mean anything by it but I'm just a bit grumpy. I'm not good at peeing in a cup either but I think I'll be doing that tomorrow too.

My head hurts really bad so I'm going to bed. Pray for me, Meditate for me.... Save me. Save me from hurting and making a fool of myself, give me the strength to stay strong and not panic and cry. Forgive me if I can't do what's right for me.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 8:14 PM

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