Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

Other things

I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

Other things

My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

Other things

There are way to many other things in this template.

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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula lorem, consequat eget, tristique nec, auctor quis, purus. Vivamus ut sem. Fusce aliquam nunc vitae purus.

Hmmm

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I'm at the point in my life where I absolutely hate change. Once I get use to an idea and someone changes crap on me my mind flips out.

Once again things are flipped upside down.

I'm in classes, I'm finally to have surgery this coming week, my mother is in the hosptial (again) but this time in isolation, and now I get a call from my husband telling me his new report date is March 31st ... which means no sooner that he gets home, I have my surgery and he has to leave, I have no clue how I am going to have follow ups without some sort of support system. I am so over all this Military BS. For once in my life I want to give up on everything. I don't want to fake it to the world that I'm ok... because you know what, I'm not.

I'm not ok. It feels like my insides are screaming. My brain is going to squeeze out of my ear. I've gotten to the point I really don't want to talk to anyone anymore. Just stay to myself and shut the whole world out. Just go back to where I was all those years ago. I should've moved to cleveland all those years ago and take on life by myself.

I am begining to realize I have bent, and accomodated everyone else, I'm tired of always doing what I know I need to do because someone else said it or asked it of me. I am tired of saying I'm sorry all the time when I've done nothing wrong. I'm tired of being tested by what ever is out there, I am tired of trying to focus and believe, I'm just tired.

Why is it when things start to look up it's like getting a slap in the face and someone pointing a finger going "Ha Ha just kidding."

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 7:47 AM

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