Spicy Cracker

Hello world, I'm here so I'll have to deal with you as much as you have to deal with me.

Other things

I'm a million things, but what I am not is amused.

Other things

My amazing husband is my life line and no one person will every come between us.

Other things

There are way to many other things in this template.

Other things

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula lorem, consequat eget, tristique nec, auctor quis, purus. Vivamus ut sem. Fusce aliquam nunc vitae purus.

Other things

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula lorem, consequat eget, tristique nec, auctor quis, purus. Vivamus ut sem. Fusce aliquam nunc vitae purus.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Ever feel so lost that you can't focus or pull it all together. The past few weeks I've been in an odd funk. I just finshed my Florida class not to long ago and it looks like I got an A. I'm in another class right now that I'm way behind in due to some computer problems, but I have no sence of urgency, and I'm extremely unhappy.

I have a good life. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I am luckier than most. What am I missing? The weather here is perfect. I really wish I knew what it is that I am missing. I am 2 classes away from my AA. The one I'm currently in and one more in the fall. I want to drop the one I'm in now and start over in the Fall. I want a break. I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

Ever sit around and have a million pictures flood you're mind from the past? Or conversations, past relationships, a ton of why's and what if's you can't change but they are still there. That is where I am. This underlying guilt that I could've done something to change it all.

I can't Focus, did I say that already? It's like I can / will help anyone else but I can't help myself. I can fix or figure out for others but I can't take my own advice. Does that mean I don't love myself enough to do something about my void? Asking questions I can not answer, I know. Well I don't expect that I'll ever get those answer either until I find away to have some sort of blind faith again, or able to let it go out of my mind. Yea, that'll happen soon.

I can either look for the good in people up front then dislike them later because something usually annoys me about most of the people I meet around here. Or I can just choose to hate everyone up front then realize they are ok later on. Even I know the 2nd choice is no way to meet people / live life either. It however is the safer way to protect your being.

Something will pan out and guide me through, I don't know why or how that just popped into my head but it sounded good for now.

posted by Spicy Cracker @ 10:26 AM

1 Comments:

At 7:18 PM, June 15, 2006, Norman said…

i know what your missing. you haven't had a good frozen margarita in a long time, right? I'll bet that's what it is...