Spicy Cracker

Go blog

2008-01-25T22:16:00.001-07:00

Link to my blog with my cell phone.

Why I would rather vacation alone-

2007-12-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

Hey there kiddies-

As you know being bitter about crap it what I do best. I've had some good and some bad happen the past few weeks but haven't we all? I mean it is the holidays and are we not all full of freakin cheer? I would rather be full of Johnny Walker but I digress.

So you know I've struggled with my weight on and off my whole life. I got into a discussion about it earlier in the evening with my very good friend. Mostly our conversation was about motivation or better yet the lack there of.

I've tried to pin point the trigger but I've gotten it down to a science. I do really good then something happens... (like the 6 week cold I had) then I have a heck of a time getting back on track. I know this happens to people I hear them talking all the time. I have a tendency to get obsessive about things. If I like something, I REALLY like something and I want it all the time. Or if it is an activity I want to participate all the time. So I get on kicks of eatting really really healthy and working out then I burn my self out on it and I begin to hate it and fall back into old habbits. I don't find the moderation, and boy have I tried.

Hey at least I know I have an issue here and I'm doing what I can to work it out. Even if I am the only one that responds to me.

This brings me to my so called "vacation". I am so not looking forward to seeing my mother or anyone else for that matter in the next few weeks. I would rather stay home and just be alone. I like alone, I am ok alone. I know I'm going to go there and my mother is going to start in on me about all kinds of crap. Why is it that asian mothers do this ... why do all my half asian friends agree their mothers are all mean and hateful people that want all the respect in the world but are quick to disrespect you. Well I do my best to ignore it and I will continue to do so as much as possible. I have hung up on her. Refuse to talk to her.... but then I get the guilt call... "I could die in this house and my body would rot before anyone would know... blah blah blah" I don't really care and honestly it's getting annoying.

Yes I have become a heartless bitch. When it comes to her. For goodness sake I am 31 years old woman ... leave me alone already.

It's time for bed....

I have a feeling I'll be here quite a bit the next few days.

TJ

Under the weather-

2007-11-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

So as one can see I've been in a pretty foul mood lately. Maybe it's because everyone but me is going to be together for the Holidays. Even my husband is going to be with my family. Here I am stuck in BFE with people I'm starting to hate on an everyday basis.

Every Wednesday a few people I know are on a bowling league I go for moral support, and the french fries.. which lately have been sucking ass. The last few times I have been catching a ride to save on gas and blah blah... Last night I was so sick.... beyond anything I've been through lately. One minute I was fine the next minute I was doubled over in pain ... fork piercing pain in my lower stomach. I didn't eat there the week before and I was fine. It's a sign. I hate being alone when I have those pains. It scares the shit out of me, but here I am alone to face it again. Hell my husband used to just stare at me, sometimes it would be nice if I got a ... hey are you OK? Anything I can do?

I hate being so emotional all the time ... but I'm also tired of being scared too. I'm tired of cleaning up his messes. I'm tired of giving up... and that is what it feels like I have done given up on myself. Will it ever come around and break even? I surely hope so and soon.

Later Days

Missing my friends-

2007-11-12T13:39:00.001-07:00

As everyday creeps by I'm trying to figure out why I've been so out of whack. I spoke to a few friends from back "home" and I miss them. Here I have to depend on strangers for help or the few "friends" (word loosely used) I've met. After hurting my back a while back I'm still only able to hold about 15 lbs at any given time. Well I over did it today. I am not good with clutter and I think that it's taking a toll on me emotionally as well as every other way.

To top it off I get annoyed so easily. Just watching the kids in the back yard jumping up and down on a trampoline is ticking me off. I want to enjoy my neighbors and not have issues with them, I don't want to be a procrastinator anymore... I know what I have to do in every aspect of my life.... I am just not motivated to do it.

How sad.

I could accomplish so many things. I could more than I ever could imagine, I could make my dreams come true....I just don't feel the urgency. I am pathetic.

Fast forward to many hours later......

I busted my tail trying to clean out the garage. It's going to take a few more days and some help which I'm finding that all of those people that told me they could help me are no where to be found. I'm going to stop helping people. I'm going to just stare at people the way they stare at me. Hubs is pretty upset, he tried so hard to make sure I knew there were people that would help me if I needed it... especially now and not a damn one is around. One guy wanted to help but he's having surgery on Wednesday... he said he'd do anything to help me tomorrow but I wont be ready by then. Wow.. and this wasn't even hubs friend... I mean they made nice and knew each other in passing but wow.

I thought all of this might be a test to show my Independence. I've been tested enough. I now have a headache.

Later Days-

Still burning off anger...

2007-11-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

I have this neighbor...

Wait.. Let me first say, (and I know I've said this before) I am NOT a touchy feely person if you are not related to me and even then hubs is the only one I don't want to smack.

So the neighbor, she's driving me crazy. Last Thursday I spoke to her for a brief moment telling her I have her stuff that she let me borrow and I wanted to know when to return it. She was pissed because I didn't answer the door.... ( I think I may be repeating myself on here ) As you all know out there in blogger land I have a restraining order out on someone and if I don't know you're coming... I don't answer... and if you call my house first and I don't answer, don't just come over. When I called her later ... she was pissy and said some crap about it being just her blah blah... it's OK if I didn't answer... blah blah...

This brings us up to about 20 mins ago. She called to see "how I was doing" yes I will admit I had bit of shortness in my tone. I told her I was just tired from repacking my husbands stuff for storage and I was just coming inside but I had a moment to talk. She then started to tell me she was still at work on her way home and was just checking on me... (I get a lot of this for some reason... I am not feeble). I reminded her that I still had her things she said no problem ... we hung up. She called back not 5 mins later and wanted to know, If I was mad at her for some reason. Hmmmm. I'm in a foul mood so I flat out said yes and that she pissed me off last Thursday. "Did I even speak to you last Thursday?" Now I'm confused... I begin to remind her of the conversation and she kept cutting me off trying to explain herself and telling me it was OK if I was pissed off at her that's my prerogative ..... (gee thanks for giving me permission) Now I'm even more pissed... damn you know I'm going to have a stroke if I keep giving a flip about stuff.

To boot she must touch you every chance she gets. I can't remember where I read this but out there in blogger land I know I saw someone say something that I do.... when random people want to hug me .. I want to scream... sometimes it almost feels like it's going to hurt to be touched. I always go oww. Odd maybe or defence mechanism... hmm I like the latter.

As for working on down sizing my hubs crap in the Garage... well lets just say not only have I filled up our huge garbage can... I have filled up the neighbors (with permission) and I have more to dump and the other neighbors. Now I just have to figure out if they are even going to pick up the trash tomorrow... being a holiday and all. Whew.... I'm feeling better....

Later Days-

I've come to realize...

2007-11-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

1. I've come to realize that my butt: is looking good now I'm working out.

2. I've come to realize that, I talk: too much

3. I've come to realize that, I love: me

4. I've come to realize that, I have: too much on my plate

5. I've come to realize that, I lost :my mind.

Where's number 7?

6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when: people are disrespectful

8. I've come to realize that, Marriage:is forever

9. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking:about me :)

10. I've come to realize that, I'll always be:me and say it how it is.

11. I've come to realize that, I have serious feelings for: life.

12. I've come to realize that, the last time I cried was: This morning.

13. I've come to realize that, my cell phone is: a pain in my ass.

14. I've come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning:I'm usually tired

15. I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night I: am usually fighting it.

16. I've come to realize that, right now I am thinking abouT: Trying to take care of the house.

17. I've come to realize that, babies are: usually born into sucky relationships.... (around here anyway... sorry kiddos)

18. I've come to realize that, I get on Myspace:Daily

19. I've come to realize that, today I will:Run errands

20. I've come to realize that, tonight I will:Be packing and cleaning

21. I've come to realize that, tomorrow I will: be cleaning some more.

22. I've come to realize that, I really want to:Take a vacation

23. I've come to realize that, the person who is most likely to repost this: I have no clue... no one reads me.

Why am I so angry...

2007-11-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

I find myself these days in crazy mood swings... first I thought PMS... then I thought... wow maybe I'm mental... but I know it's because I am just full of piss and vinegar.

I have bent over backwards to be the kind of friend I am looking for, to be the kind of love that I want, to be the kind of happiness I give to others. In reality I deserve all of these things for myself. I have to figure out how to just give these things to me. I've never wanted to admit those things because I never wanted to sound selfish but wanting happiness is not selfish at all... it's actually self-preservation. I want to be happy to give happiness.

OK so enough of the philosophical B.S. Things are happening around here and happening pretty fast. My hubs is off to take care of his parents so all my hard work paid off. I had a plan for someone to help me clean and move and take care of all the crap he dropped off on me and now that person .... my best friend here... is getting deployed! Yea so I flipped out hardcore, because once again guess who's helping with the kiddo's for at least 12 months.

(I wish I was an iguana.)

My mother is doing the whole guilt trip thing about me moving back to where she's at being hubs is there (because his parents live 5 mins from my mom). Not just no, but HELL NO. So I can be aggervated all the time? What kind of crap is that? I don't have that desire to be close to family. "Family" didn't do crap for me, I am so not impressed. I have a great marriage because I know when to walk away.

Speaking of which, I fell back into the whole I need to explain myself on why I didn't move with my husband, when in all honestly it is and never will be anyone's business. However in todays society if I choose not to give everyone every detail of my life I am automatically classified as a first class bitch. Well ladies... the "bitch" is here.

I talk to much.... I feel to much... so here it is... I'm tired of talking / explaining and I'm tired of feeling. All that wasted energy on people that was never worth any thoughts in my head.

I feel better....

I got so mad this morning that I trashed about 15 garbage bags full and I do mean FULL of stuff. I'm going to have to ask the neighbors if I can use thier cans if they haven't put to much trash in theres. Out of site out of mind I always say.... My garage is finally getting cleaned out. Hubs should've taken care of it... I took it upon myself to finish the job... it's going to take a few more weeks... but I'll get it done. It will stay that way if he knows whats good for him. It will be tagged labelled and organized. Then from there on... If something stays out of place for more than 4 days... I'm trashing it.

I'm done.

"Let me leap out of the frying pan into the fire; or, out of God's blessing into the warm sun."

2007-11-04T15:08:00.001-07:00

So I saw that head line while surfing the net.

It's been forever sence I've graced my present on to blogger but here I am.... uninteresting and frying chicken.

My ass should be at the gym but I litterally fell out of bed this morning and did something wicked to my knee. Let's catch up... shall we?

My hubs reassignment went through, he is now living with his PU's (parental units) down south and I am still here 17 miles away from Mexico. His father is slowly progressing getting sicker and sicker. I am happy to have been able to help him spend time with his father before it was too late. Hubs came here in early Oct and we went on a 3,000 mile road trip and visited some friends in the mile high city and I went to the top of this insane mountain and procedded not to lose my ever loving mind.

We came back here did some home improvements repacked him up and now poof he's gone .... just like that. Once again my house is a mess and I want to scream. However he is alive here in the states and I will be sure of that for at least another 2 1/2 years or so.

I bought this little deep fryer so I could do things like crab ragoon and egg rolls but today..... I had a hankering for asian style fried chicken....

Ok so I started on the crab raggoon and getting ready to make cream cheese sushi rolls....yum yum for my tum tum.

Did I mention I am not to have dairy products but we had a party last weekend and bought a 8 pound thing of cream cheese from S @ M S club and I have to use it before it goes bad..... I've taken pictures of the goodness I will post right after I finish dinner....

Later days-

No more Mrs. Nice Guy....

2007-09-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

So back near 4th of July I had a house guest that if he ever comes near me again I will proceed to poke him in the eye for trying to screw with my marriage. I know I had my doubts and no matter what I do love my husband which is also my best friend very much. I have no doubt he loves me just as much if not more. We have been separated through distance on and off for 6 years, our marriage has survived a war, illness and idiots. So if one little Jackass is going to trying to break us up... Bring IT!

In his delusional mind he thinks something has happened between us?!?!?!?! WTF Over? This is what I get for being nice, this is what I get for giving a damn.

All the time people are telling me ... "Gee you're kind of Harsh, arn'tcha." Here is the reality of it. I used to try to like everyone, I used to care if I was liked. I couldn't stand for someone to be mad / hate me. Now I just don't give a crap, and I haven't for a long time.

I have learned the art of forgiveness, I have forgiven those who have broken my heart all those years ago and it did a great deal of healing on a personal level. Now I'm stronger than I have ever been in my life and I realize I care so little about crap anymore that when I do get mad/ as I am at this very moment I'm ready to rip someones head off.

Lately I have met some amazing people that have truly helped me out these past few months with my husbands situation in trying to get him closer to his family. As of yesterday it's all gone through. I will be forever grateful for all of these people that until I walked into their offices and they gave me 5 mins of time off the record, had no clue I existed. The world is full of dirty little secrets, and it's not what you know it's who you know. I have come to know this is how it's all played out.

I see things more interesting as time goes on. I'll keep you informed.

Later days-

I am not a MOM or an Iguana!

2007-08-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Fun Fact: Did you know Iguana's when threatend will close their eyes as if the threat is no longer there. Kind of like, "my eyes are close and you're not there anymore."

Spicy Fact: I am not an Iguana, however I wish I were, I would lie around with my eyes closed all day everyday, if I could. Warding off evilness whenever possible.

Then here is reality-

For about 20 days I have had custody of my friends children. Fortunately they are exceptionally good children but annoy the flip out of me. I'm beginning to realize it takes very little to annoy me though.

People suck. People lie and suck. People cheat, lie and suck. Did I mention people suck? So Mr. Wannabe cassinova that was at my house was caught in a hugh lie. Guess who's still married?... Ding Ding Ding... Johnny tell the nice people what they have won!!!! It's one thing to be married and creaping around, be honest about it. Don't make up lies you're going to be caught in. It's another thing to tell people you're divorced and trying to hook up with my friends. Through the power of friends and m y s p a c e.... (you go Tom, turn the world into stalkers) people are getting busted left and right.

I have to wonder what really goes through peoples minds. I've been really ill for weeks I've finally been able to sit up again and be a part of society get back into workout mode. All I can think about is my husband and wishing he was here. However there are days I think we're going to out grow each other and we'll walk away from our marriage as strangers. Being apart has made both of us so independant that there wont be a need for the other one anymore, living 2 seprate lives other than to handle finances that's pretty much all there is. Don't get me wrong I love him with all of my being but sometimes love just isn't enough anymore.

Maybe I'm turning into an Type A personality/sexual. My hermit self that likes being alone.
I do have a goal. I want to learn to play darts. I don't know why, it's like my need to want to own a weapon of my own and fire it often. Maybe as an anniversary present to myself.

Don't mind my babbleling.

Just dumping stuff out of my head.

Later Days-

Happy Birthday to Me-

2007-07-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Well today is my 31st birthday on the 31st of July. (At the time when I originally thought this posted)

I've been asked if it's been a hard day, but you know it's only hard because hubs wasn't here to celebrate today with me.

I figure with today being MINE and all... I'll tell you random facts about moi!

My favorite color is blue.

I love chinese food.

I have 3 birds.

I don't want children.

I color in coloring books to relieve stress.

I like being in the dark.

I used to try to find the good in most people, now I find most people are no good.

I converted to Buddhism 10 years ago.

I have a talking cockatiel and whisles dixie and says good morning to me everday.

I think cats are evil.

My husband is infact my best friend, I would and have done anything for the man.

I've noticed I've really stopped giving a damn about most things.

Thats all I've got right now....

Off to plan a party.

2007-07-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's coming around the corner... I hear it stomping in a loud crazy fashion. I should be scared but through meditation and everything I've endured in my life to this point, I sit with open arms. It's.... going to be here Tuesday.. do you know what it is????

It's my 31st B-day!!!!!

I should be more excited but as it is I've gotta throw myself a late B-day bash I'm ok with this. Infact I am looking forward to it.

ramblings

2007-07-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm a little frazzled... it's a good thing I'm going to the gym 6 to 7 days a week it's the only thing keeping me out of 2 story buildings with a HPR or a SAW. My mom is still here 8 more days to go. My friends are telling me that I'm doing rather well for being around someone I can not getting along with. I have to say once again it's the fact I'm in the gym 2 1/2 hours a day burning off the extra energy, otherwise it would be so easy to just drink in my room everynight and cry myself to sleep.

Somedays I feel like a failure as a friend and as a wife to my husband. He is going through the worse time right now and I feel as if I am not doing enough to comfort him. I'm always wanting to fix something or take care of everything all the time, I just don't know what to do right now. He's in this job he hates, his father is slipping away, his best friend who stayed with me is an ass, what does it all mean? I just want our simple little life back. I like having a hot meal on the table when he comes home and his face just lite up, or watching him get his uniform ready for the next day... mmmm hmmm. I love that man. Still just does it for me as he did 6 years ago when we first met. How incredible he is as a person, a best friend, a lover and my soul mate. There is no one person that means that much or close to it.

Can you tell how much I love him? Maybe I'm over compensating in my head. Being here at my laptop dumping out my thoughts is almost soothing. It's just not enough-

I am so not good with having company right now. First a soldier, then my mother, next who knows. One of my friends wants to move here from across the country but I'm going to have to say no. As I am aware now I don't want people in and out of my house. I don't want to be acused of saying things I would never say or have never said. Which has already happend. I'm finding myself getting really pissed off right now. Damn this isn't good.

I wanted to write something funny or whitty now it just doesn't seem like this is going to happen unless I get another drunk night -

Well I'm off Im not thinking clearly-

Later days-

In my head-

2007-07-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

We're going on day 12 of my mothers visit. Once again I want to be knee deep back into the rest of my bottle of J.W. I'm wanting to just stay under for a few months, be a turtle stick my head in my shell. I'm running through so many thoughts in my head I'm not sure where to begin?

First off I'm back in the gym. Three days strong, I took today off, tomorrow back in there once again. My body is just readjusting and I'm still coughing like I'm a 3 pack a day smoker.

When I dated my husband he used to tell me sweet, and wonderful things. Here it is almost 6 years later, I feel like I don't exist and I'm tired of just "knowing" he still feels those things about me. I'm working my ass off over here and feeling unappreciated. With everything that is going on with his father I do forgive him for not noticing me right now. However it's been this way for a few years. He is still my best friend and a wonderful brave man I just miss the guy I fell in love with. I guess what is making it hard is hearing complements from other men, noticing my hard work. Then going out with the girls and the husbands army buddy.. and him saying a few things..... just gave me a feeling I hadn't had in a while.

Am I am bitch for feeling this way? I know this has to happen to other women. Or just couples in general. How does one get the once was to the hear and now?

I'm sleepy... long day tomorrow...

Later days-

ramblings

2007-07-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

For the Love of all things good and holy I have a huge sinus infection. Which in turn has given me the most attractive of sticky pink-eye. I've picked up my mother from the Airport and so far so good. She feels bad I'm so sick, but in the same breath all I'm hearing is... "I hope I don't catch your cold... you know I can't be sick.... blah blah..." it's getting old.

I did warn her I was horribly sick. I've experienced way to many emotions lately. On the upside I'm still pretty positive, and isn't that what matters? It's the rainy season where I'm at, and humidity has graced me with sweaty afternoons, but that's OK. I'm hoping my cold subsides enough for me to get back into the gym by Monday. (Wishful thinking) I've decided that every time I lose ex-amount of weight I'll get myself something nice. Now that I'm on a path that I can finally take care of myself.

(So I took a walk away from the computer for a day and forgot I was blogging.....)

I figure Karma is bitch slapping me in the face for drinking, being that I'm still sick and I have no clue if I will be making that trip to the gym like I planned for tomorrow to get started again. Speaking of gym I've got to rant about something.

And Go: OK we'll for the past 10 years I've really struggled with my weight bouncing up and down. The past 3 months I've gotten in a good place that I'm doing everything naturally and taking charge of my life. The one thing I hate more than anything is hearing someone say, "Oh she/he would look so pretty if they lost weight." WTF is wrong with people? Do they not know that a statement like that could put someone back a few steps. I understand having extra poundage on your body is not healthy but damn people. Until you understand why a person it like they are, shut up already and don't judge. Which brings me to this, I have a skinny friend that has food issues and I think she forgets that I'm not skinny, or at least until she looks at me but she is forever making comments. I've lost over 25 lbs in the past 3 month she hasn't seen me and not once did she say... wow you look different, like I've gotten from others.... she just looks at me and then comes to squeeze me.... I was straight pissed. Then she says... "well OK I'm so proud of you, keep it up" it was more of a condescending tone... which made me more pissed... so I looked at her and said..."wow, you've gotten way to thin you should get some meat on you, but you have issues with food right?" Two can play this game. I would never judge a person based on how they look, my God who the hell am I?

I've had my not so grand moments in the past, I am growing past that. So for now on this early Sunday morning I'm going to meditate, and do some cleaning and shopping. So take it easy kiddos...

Later days-

sick sick sick.. how I hate to be sick

2007-07-11T17:34:00.001-07:00

So I think I told you in my welcome back spicy post that I have achieved what my doctor likes to call a viral infection- I've had a fever, cough, headache, cough, sore throat, cough, aches and pains... did I mention cough, and now folks I've lost my voice-

The phone has not stopped ringing today. Miss popular when the voice goes and I have a million things to do to get the house ready for my mommy. I'm being punished, I know I am. In fact last night in one of my delusional moments I had a spider on me and I lost my ever loving mind and ripped my t-shirt off of me, I kid you not. I bet that was a site to see and now I've lost said spidy in the house and freaking out as I type.

I sound like squeeky mouse when I've been trying to leave messages on peoples voice mails. I hate that beat down feeling I have. Coughing and hacking.

On to other things kiddies I'm going to the AirPort tomorrow to pick up my mommy. Three freaking hours to get there. Ask me just how happy I am. (come on you know you want too) Now I'm desparately trying to get along with her for all that I'm worth. She's the only family I have left and well being my womb is closed, I am it. The blood line of my parents ends with me. I do have a half sister who is for a better lack of term a crack whore but that's a whole different blog.

My memories are still coming back to me...

2007-07-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

So Friday Night memories are still coming back to me.... Good God I'm glad I don't make drinking a full time thing, it's the thinking and thought process that kills me afterwards. In the deep wee hours of my over due drunkiness at some point I boldly told my friend who was talking about "sucking a big".... well you know.... I stated " Will you stop being a whore? " Enough for everyone to think I was sober for a breif moment.

Then I was back in drunk land. That day I had thought drinking starting at 5 pm in the afternoon was a good idea being I had no intention of leaving the house and I was wanting to play pictionary all night. I had started drinking being my house guest had driven me too it and well maybe a little pms to boot. It's no excuse but if I didn't do these things you guys out there in blog land wouldn't want to keep up with me. I'm on a quest to get interesting!

At somepoint I grabbed a hot curling iron did my hair refreshed my make up put on 5 inch heels and was good to go... everyone was shocked that at no point did I burn myself or put on 2 different shoes. Off we went to the sea of desparation of lonely people. Nights like that I'm soooo happy I'm married... more happy than I already am and I didn't think that was possible. My husband is not a huge dancer, so I go on the floor and he watches to make sure I'm ok... he's not around at the moment so his stand-in goes in his place, he on the other hand is talking to a beautiful girl that has noooooo, none, nada, zip, zero, zilch interest in him. Yet he begs to differ... (sometimes we all live in a delusional world from time to time) I'm being swept away farther and farther away then I see him frantically looking for me as I am having a wonderful time. This my friends is where the fun begins.

I duck a little, I turn around just enough to hide in the crowed of people. I know, what I'm doing is wrong I'm proving a point- YOU NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR WINGMAN (or woman in this case) Damnit man didn't you watch TopGun? Now you're worried... now you're wondering where your "date" is? (only honorary because no one was interested so go back home with who you came with) I'm a hot chick that you can have as eye candy on your arm as you leave the club at last call. ( I like to think I'm hot, thats me be confidant and delusional at the same time).

It's all good in the hood, or in the west suburbs. I remember a slow song actually I remember 2. I remember just wanting to be with the man I love and thinking... "oh heck you'll do" I still laugh. I remember watching my whorey friend being picked up on the dance for and thinking good God woman I've had 3 times as much to drink as you and I'm not acting a fool like you.

I am a people watcher, I wonder how all of this will turn out in the morning, how many coyoty ugly situations does all of this come down too. I'm still laughing. Tonight I was reminded of a few other things, (**shaking head**) years will come to pass and things will pop up. Well you know, I'm ok with that. I fell off my personal wagon and needed to let loose. I'm not sorry I did it, my body paid for it. Those demons never do stay in my closet for long.

I'm loving this crazy life.

Later Days-

shhhhh quiet....

2007-07-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

Here I am.... So I've gotten a few messages wondering where I'm at....

Yes, folks I've fallen off the face of the earth and it appears I let my life take over.

(and I've been blogging on myspace, shame on me)

I cannot believe I haven't been around sence April- wow. A lot has happend sence then, my hubs has been picked up by another division of the Military that I like to call, HELL filled with A$$Holes. I caught a heck of a cold in the past 24 hours, my father-in-law is dying and may have only 6 to 8 months to live, and of course my mother is come for a 3 week visit in 2 days. Did I mention one of my husbands ex-soldiers came to stay with me for a week and I wanted to.... (left up to imagination).... CAN YOU SAY STRESS!!!!!!

I need a way to get more readers so I'll stay more motivated to keep this thing up. Or I just need a corporate job once again being we are broke as a mo'fo at this point in time. Did I ever tell you how much I hate working for the man?

I had this in reflection of my 102.5 fever I was running all night and this morning that I posted elsewhere-

"Learning things about people is as amazing as waking up every morning. You ever wonder why we all have a private side to each and everyone of us? One minute we can become very close and the next we don't exsist to each other. It's nothing personal, most of us have been through this our whole lives, it's not to be understood or that we don't like each other it just happens.

Then you meet someone who you think could just be an amazing person, not because you think you have to have them in your life... the're just amazing.... for the things the've seen or their acts of bravery no matter the situation. From time to time it gets mistaken for something else, once you've voiced your opinion.

Ever had your integrity challenged? Or that of someone near you, or a person you just met? That is a scary thought and situation. Thinking you have faith and trust in an idividual and it gets blown out of the water due to past events. We've all made mistakes... I'm pretty sure I make at least one everyday, heck some even bigger than others, but you know they are my mistakes and I own them.

I get down about situations in my daily living, but I'm pretty up beat about most situations once I can see the sunshine. I look back 5 years ago, 10 years ago, I see some wonderful changes in me. My life took a very different turn than expected, but once I got over the whoa as me factor and got my dreams back into perspective I realized no matter what my situation is....They are MY dreams, they are MY goals, and with no explanation, I'm still full of hope and a little ray of sunshine.

Later Days-"

Now why you may ask did I have such a reflection? Either the fever or I just got deep for a minute.

I haven't been out dancing in over 2 years sence I've been out west here. Last Friday night I decided it was time for me and a bottle of Johnny Walker to become reaquainted, ( I do believe he missed me.) Once again it had been over a year sence I've picked up a drinky poo and over 2 years sence I've been completely falling down, walking into a parking meter, missing the curb, kind of smashed. I'm not proud of that moment of the one of this past Friday but you know if tell people up front you just want to have a little fun on the dance floor with no other intention usually they seem pretty cool with you. Those who are not.... well they can go screw themselves. Which brings me to this ... I went out with my new neighbor, and one of my other female friends from this area, and hubs friend that came to visit.

Apparently lapdances are my fortay..... (did that make you laugh as much as I just did?) Now I know my ass was drunk ... but dang I know I wasn't that drunk.

I am married, there is nothing I wouldn't tell my husband that I wouldn't tell any of you! (hi honey ***waving***) I had some repressed love expressed to me.... makes for an interesting evening, following with more shots of tequila topped with whip cream- (mental note: I still have skills in being able to pick up a shot glass using just my mouth with my hands behind my back.)
Just hold my hair.

So after dancing in 5 inch heels all night and shaking my butt I was ready to come home and pass out. Things are slowly coming back to me now-

Scary.....

So maybe after I remember more, I'll share-

I'm glad to be back, I've missed you all...

Spicy C

whew....

2007-04-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Working on a great inside self tan, and learning more about me more than ever.

Well surgery went really well. So far so good. I go back in for a follow up on Friday with the Oncologist to make sure the radiation treatments took hold. I'm coming close the end of my semester and the first part of my degree! I'm taking a break, taking more photography classes in the fall. In the Spring I am wanting to start classes at a Natural Health and Medicine college.

Also if all goes well my friend will be moving in with me in a few months to start her life anew again as well.

It's a beautiful day and I'm off.

SC

I'm off to Surgery-

2007-02-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

So here it is - What I have been fighting for since Spring 2004. Tomorrow I finally get my minor surgery on my ear to make me feel normal again, to be able to sleep, not only from fear but from pain. To be able to pull my hair back in public and not feel like a freak.

The keloids I have are out of control. It's like having 2 huge marbles on the side of my ear and a small one on the back. That is the side I sleep on. I'll have radiation therapy after that as well. The surgery should last an hour that is with removing the mass and reconstruting my ear. Oddly that part doesn't scare me as much as knowing the IV is a huge as needle and I have never had an IV. I pray for good drugs and no pain.

Later Days-

Hmmm

2007-02-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

I'm at the point in my life where I absolutely hate change. Once I get use to an idea and someone changes crap on me my mind flips out.

Once again things are flipped upside down.

I'm in classes, I'm finally to have surgery this coming week, my mother is in the hosptial (again) but this time in isolation, and now I get a call from my husband telling me his new report date is March 31st ... which means no sooner that he gets home, I have my surgery and he has to leave, I have no clue how I am going to have follow ups without some sort of support system. I am so over all this Military BS. For once in my life I want to give up on everything. I don't want to fake it to the world that I'm ok... because you know what, I'm not.

I'm not ok. It feels like my insides are screaming. My brain is going to squeeze out of my ear. I've gotten to the point I really don't want to talk to anyone anymore. Just stay to myself and shut the whole world out. Just go back to where I was all those years ago. I should've moved to cleveland all those years ago and take on life by myself.

I am begining to realize I have bent, and accomodated everyone else, I'm tired of always doing what I know I need to do because someone else said it or asked it of me. I am tired of saying I'm sorry all the time when I've done nothing wrong. I'm tired of being tested by what ever is out there, I am tired of trying to focus and believe, I'm just tired.

Why is it when things start to look up it's like getting a slap in the face and someone pointing a finger going "Ha Ha just kidding."

on again off again

2007-02-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

So if you know me you know I'm Amerasian. I'm pretty strong willed but the one thing I have always had a hard time staying focused on is my weight.

I do good... then something happens and it takes for freakin ever to get started again. I keep trying because well... if I just give up all together then I've completely lost the fight.

So once again, I've decided to change it up again. I went to T@rget and found the Body Sculpting System by The Frm. Three workouts an hour long each. You rotate them over a month on a very doable schedual. Today was day one... I lasted all of 40 mins. I feel like I'm burning, internally. So I guess that means it's working.

Tomorrow is day two. Pray for me.

Spicy Cracker out~

falling into place

2007-02-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

Falling into Place...
So here it is almost 1:00am and I am finally almost caught up with all my piddly stuff. Today was my lazy busy day. I tried to accomplish all the things I put off till I had a lazy day. Apparently it was a lot more than I expected.
However both printers are back up and on track for the moment. I got a nifty new lap top that is hopefully going to help put me on the map, I finished edits on most of the work I started around Christmas time and I'm pretty caught up on class work. At this point I'm feeling like I kick ass!!!
I said to someone in an email a few days ago, "Somedays the world wakes up before I do and it feels like a punch in the gut." I have an amazing life, and with hubs I have it all. We have one of the best friendships and marriages, where there is no issue of trust. Neither one of us ever has to worry about the other one, and through it all no matter what we will always stand behind the other and support their dreams. I am fortunate to have a husband that wants to help others and talks to me about issues and concerns. Someone who believes in me and reminds me in little ways not to worry about things I can not handle.
I've also met some amazing understanding people in my life. New friends and old. I have never been one to conform, or let others bother me. I get aggitated with people and their pettiness but it passes and I move on. I wouldn't call everyone I meet a friend, so I have a ton of aquantences. I would like to have days that I meet with the same people once a week or once a month so I can hear about their children or spouses even their parents. I have a brass sence of humor from time to time. I have made peace with an old flame (for lack of better term) and it has brought me full circle, I hope that others can get that sort of closure. I have a heart for tiny animals, especially my birds, something about them sitting on my finger singing to me melts my heart, and now that Calyso can mimic the house alarm beeps, I have reason to play my sounds of the ocean machine through out the night.
At this very moment everything feels right, and it all feels like it's falling into place.

First Day, Music and Tot Toss Part Duex

2007-01-09T00:38:00.000-07:00

So today was the first day of class, oddly enough it went very well. The professor seems to have a passion for his subject and has quite the sunny disposition. (Yay for me.)
There are only about 12 of us, not a single person I’ve ever seen before. I like meeting new people, maybe this will be over all a fun time. I really hope so being I have buy a flash light with a red filter, and a pair of binoculars.

(I feel like a creepo going into a store looking for these items. I mean seriously, all I need is some rope a small pocket knife and some duct tape, and I look like criminal or… I could be having a really good time. Go figure.)

On to my 2nd thoughts of the day/night, I’ve been thinking a lot of my past, all the clubs, raves, concerts and parting all night. All the people that I have met, and how music had a way of defining where we are in our lives at that very moment. Lately I’ve been just finding a ton of stuff on MySpace that reminded me of those time. Times in past relationships, and / or situations.

Like the current song I have on my page now. “I saw you dancing” by Yakida. I remember being 19 and in a club in Orlando, that song came on, it’s about seeing the hottest guy on the dance floor and wishing you were with him, for a minute life will never been the same again. A quick 3 minute fantasy until the next song came on. For years every time I’ve heard this song it brought me back to a happier time.

“Don’t turn around”, by Ace of Base has some meaning for me as well. I remember a boyfriend leaving, that last kiss good-bye and having the feeling that it was over right then. Even though it was one of those, “I’ll wait for you…” romances that just didn’t pan out. Spring of 1994.

The many years of angry music, and moshing around jumping up and down, being a scene kid. Reminds me of a God Smack Concert down in Ybor city I went to with the ex-roomie and actually saw a guy in a crowd of hundreds of people that I barely knew and hung out for a bit. Oh Josh… sweet, sweet, non-dickhead Josh. Now not so non-Dickish…

Anyway what I was getting at is so many little things shape our lives. They give us little lessons that we can either choose to listen to or disregard. At 16 I knew everything, most of my friends did, now I realize I was an idiot like every other teenager and I’m surprised I didn’t get myself killed… what a wild ride. I love who I am, I have come so far. Sure I have had my fair share of mishaps and bad relationships but they all taught me how to finally get what I want out of life.

Myspace was just one more thing to waste time in the beginning, it has actually done me one better, it helped me receive closure on a piece of my life that I didn’t realize I was still holding on too, and in the mean time I found peace, and made a really good beginning to what I hope will be a great friendship. Thanks….

So now what you’ve all been waiting for… Tots Part Duex

So I’m outside waiting for class to start. It’s chilly, about 38 degrees, I over heard someone talking about a trip to wally world they made last week. My ears perk up. I move a little closer. I peek around the corner… OH MY GOD… it can’t be. Yep, my young punk, he starts talking about how when he came out of the store his truck was “infested” with birds, and it was a mess. He didn’t mention anything about tator tots so I’m assuming at this point the evidence was consumed. He said that he opened his door and slammed it into another vehicle and was embarrassed when he realized someone was still in there. ( I hear no remorse in his voice.) So he just walked off, the guy he talked so asked him if he said anything to the person he hit, he said no, it’s not like he was going to pay for it anyway and just walked off. Which in point the guy said, “man that is why shit happens to you, I bet if you said sorry you wouldn’t have had birds in your truck crapping all over the place.” I guess he didn’t get it. At that point I didn’t want to be late for class, and no he was not in my class… Thank God. I wish I would’ve been able to stick around for 5 more minutes, but I still have a smile on my face.

Later Days ~

tot tossing....

2007-01-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to post this but 2 people said I should...

So I had to go to Wally World Mart to pick up a few items for hubs departure. It was early in the morning and I had to take some medication so I needed to grab some breakfast, I stopped at BK and decided I would grab a quick bite in the parking lot at Wally World before going in. Being I have a new SUV I decided to park at the end no one parks at. I look into the bag and realize I have extra tots I thought, "hey the birds would enjoy these." I put the bag down on the passenger floor after tossing a few to some pigions, then the next few things took place.
The spot next to me was empty and the one in front of me was too, also the one next to that as well. An older lady possibly in her 70's gets out of a vehicle and so does her daughter and proceeds to walk into the space next to my car that was empty.. .out of no where this truck flies into the spot screeching his tires and missing the lady by about a foot. He then jumps out of his truck slamming his door into mine, I at that point was spun into a demention of pissed off I have never been. In some what of a loud / shocked voice I say, " Are You Kidding ME?" He looks right at me, shrugs his shoulders and walks off, never saying sorry to me or the lady he almost hit.

I jump out and go over to the lady and see if she is ok, she is cluching her chest, I tell her she should sit down for a minute so she just wont go into shock I ask her if she would like me to call the local Po-Po she said she'll sit for a min and take a breather. I go to look at my door lucky him... he hit the safety strip... I am still mad. I get back into my vehicle to get my purse and list.... I realize, his window is open.

And...

I have extra tots.

Fun Fact: Did you know birds love tots, and that they will do just about anything to get free food?

I start tot tossing... this is not me, I left my body at some point. A few in the bed of said truck.. hmmmm wow, birds learn quick. A few just out side the window, they have great senses. Opps that one flew in the window... and so did the next 10 to 12. The old lady is laughing, so is her daughter. Birds everywhere, feathers flying.

Before I get lectures and blah blah blah, this was an old work truck kinda beat up and such... not that it makes what I did right but honestly, this could have gotten much worse for the guy. (Mental note always roll up windows)

I go in the store to get my shopping done. He walks by me he doesn't even notice me. Some young punk that thinks the world revolves around him. Get over yourself. Geesh.
I totally believe in Karma, I was givin extra tots for a reason. Now I know I took it into my hands to handle a situation, maybe bad move. Maybe it was my temptation, but it's not like I'd ever slash a tire or key a car... not my style, I have birds I know that birds and the mess they make... will not kill you. Nothing a handy wipe and a dust buster can't handle.

All he had to do was say... hey I'm sorry I'm in a hurry. That would've made all the difference.

Merry Christmas to ME!

2006-12-30T22:43:00.000-07:00

So this was a pleasent surprise. I haven't been around for a while but here I am! I got my surgery approved for February, I have had a cold for about 3 weeks or longer. Things are good here, my love of picture taking is still lingering around my head of making it a career. It makes me happy. As you see there is a new vehicle up there. Yep you guessed it... I got a new ride. Which I love. However I had to trade in my truck and it broke my heart. It was my fathers. I know he is not the truck but he wanted it so bad and he passed only a year after having it. I just knew that if I waited any longer I wouldn't get the same kind of money out of it. I cried and cried hubs felt pretty bad that I was going through this, he knew what all of this ment to me. But this way I don't have to worry about anything for 6 years and our payments are low.

School starts in a week. I am sooooo not ready to go back. I'm just one class away tho... so just push through it. I wish everyone a happy new year and good karma all around.

Later Days~

Howdy.

2006-11-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Kiddo's I did it again. Lets play catch up. I'm still trucking along in school. Thanksgiving was full of food and fun. I was put on a new medication and I'm sick as a dog. To top it off I have to up the dose once a week for 4 weeks. On Friday will be my last time upping the dose.

I went back to the plastic surgeon on Monday to have my ear reavaluated for surgery to finally get these painful keloids off. Now it's a waiting game for my insurance company.

I did do some fun stuff this weekend though, I went out to the canyon and took some family portraits of the family down the street. Wow. I almost forgot what a passion that is for me. The technicle side of photography I don't remember a lick... but I know what I see and I listen to the people.

So I was talking to E- one of my very good friends, and we were talking about business plans and the such. She's going to get some info from a girl at work for me who does it on the side as well. It got me thinking of a solider I had a photography class with so I decided to drop him an email. Oh lucky day and perfect timing! We talked about maybe doing something together photography wise as a business to get us both started. He asked me to assist on his 3 shoots this weekend!!!!! If I could do back flips I'd being doing them here!!!! He was so happy to hear from me, this my friend is kismet. It has to be ment to be! I'm off for now... I'll tell more in a little bit!

Never Forget

2006-11-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

2006-11-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

So Friday was no picinic. I'm exausted, and drained. I got through the first part of the day but it took about 30 mins to explain to them, I'm not stubborn, "I HAVE A PHOBIA!" Damn listen to a lady she knows what she's talking about.

Now I have to go to desensitize training/therapy to try to get over my fear. Untill them I'm on pills. For once someone is taking me seriously.

So here it is, I've got things I've got to do in the next 6 weeks. I've got a lot to prove, I'm going to change my life so my post are going to probably take some twist and turns. Mostly this is my sounding board for my husband to understand my mind from time to time. Thank you for my friends and your support and the emails I get. I'll need all of you now more than ever.

On my mind

2006-11-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't really slept and I've started fasting at 2:00pm and it's a little after 8:00pm here in AZ. I have to fast for a really long as time or my slow metabolism throws the test, lucky me. So it'll be about 10ish by the time I finish with the blood draw which is going to take everything out of me. I feel a panic attack coming now just thinking about it.

I'll be so sick by then I'm not going to be able to eat anyway. Then at 1:00pm I have an appointment to go over how to give injections to myself. How do they expect someone to do this who shakes just poking their finger with a lancet. I'm not a good candidate for this. I have a major headache and it's only going to get worse here. I've even looked into my faith for answers and It states that Buddha does not want me to experience pain but if a medicine can help it would be considered a God send. But if the medicine is the source of giving me grief then we're back to square one.

I feel so alone. I found a web site called www.needlephobia.info and I'm not crazy. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm to tired and hungry right now and my husband has decided to bring up Dale and Thomas popcorn, after I said not to mention food. I know he didn't mean anything by it but I'm just a bit grumpy. I'm not good at peeing in a cup either but I think I'll be doing that tomorrow too.

My head hurts really bad so I'm going to bed. Pray for me, Meditate for me.... Save me. Save me from hurting and making a fool of myself, give me the strength to stay strong and not panic and cry. Forgive me if I can't do what's right for me.

My past 2 weeks

2006-11-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened over the past 2 weeks. We had our 3rd anniversary (my last post). My husband reenlists and I got an award for being a supporting spouse. I've had a slew of test in college, I met a ton of new people at a bbq which I might add was thrown for the appreciation of family members who is in this club that my husband is in. I helped throw a baby shower became completely run down took another test on Monday morning. Finally went to see my new doc yesterday for the first time.... And now I'm in trouble...

I've been out of my mind for the past 19 hours or so. Due to a series of unfortunate events in my life my weight has fluctuated up and down. However I've down pretty good the past few weeks. I was told I was a type II diabetic early 2004 I was devastated. I almost had it beat I lost a lot of weight until I ran into a doc that pissed me off to the point I just gave up. I was stupid, I know this. It is so hard for me to have blood work done, I have the worse phobia of needles. So being a non insulin diabetic I was doing fine.

I tried to take care of myself but with out a real doctor for over a year it's hard to know what the hell I was doing. So it comes down to this. There is this new drug, for people who are like me a type but it's not in pill form yet. It is to be a wonder drug for people who are in my situation, and can make you lose weight to boot and reverse the diabetes and be off all your meds for everything. It would take about a year to 3 years. Pill form is coming but not for a while. So yep you guessed it, it's a twice a day injection. WTF... But it's not insulin. I am NOT happy, I have to psych myself up just to poke my finger. I have to meditate the day before I have blood work to stay calm and not eat for over 20 hours or I will be sick as a dog because I panic so much.

So now I am faced with this, refuse the medication due to my phobia and take my chances on another route, or try to do this knowing 2 a day I will have panic attacks which in turn will make me feel like I am dying anyway. I know it's easy to say suck it up when you don't have to do it, and I've heard all the scare tactics, I know them, I've seen them.

There is a good possibility my husband is leaving for 3 years come April so saying why can't he give them to you... Well that's great for now then he leaves for training in Jan for 7 weeks back for a month then leaves again for 3 years. I don't have any family here or friends that I trust that much. I did just meet some wonderful people, it's going to take me some time to really get to know them. How do you bring up ... Hey I know we just met but I need you to jab me in the gut 2 times a day to help me save my life.

I am so mad at myself, I'm so mad that I've broken my own heart. I love my husband so much but a phobia is a phobia, and to hear him say, "I want you to do this, I don't want you to die." Just killed me inside. He also said that, "More than anything I want you to be happy, and if being happy means you don't do the injections, I accept that." I love this man more than anything in the world. I would've taken his place while he was at war so he wouldn't have had to see what he saw. I would do anything I could to make his life easier and I try every day, but this.... this is how bad I am. Maybe out there it seems over dramafied (is that a word) and petty. I even say that to myself. Hell I even stepped over a rattle snake and it didn't phase me. I damn near sliced my thumb off with a PC slicer about 2 days ago and bleed everywhere and was ok. This needle thing is shaking me up.

So here it is... Dying doesn't scare me, I'm at peace with knowing that we all die and that there is a greater reward. Does that mean I've given up? I don't know myself, but I have a lot to think about. Maybe I needed to see this written out maybe I needed to open this up to the world and erase it. Maybe the answer will come to me before Friday.

Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary to hubs and I.

2006-10-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yep that's right, we've been married 3 years today, and today would've been my father's 71st birthday as well. So today is pretty special to me all around.

On to the past few days. I had an aquantance come into town this weekend, it was homecoming weekend for the highschool and her daughter wanted to come back here to go with her friends and her long distance boyfriend (which mom didn't know about) this woman is a ball of frustration. She's like a jack ball that has been dropped on concrete hard and fast and you can not catch her for anything. She talks with her hands and she paces a lot. (Thats the understatement.) She is going through plenty right now and I truely believe it's flight or fight syndrome. She moved about 5 hours from here for a job she got as a contractor, after she was medically discharged from the military.

She she was giving a series of shots and shortly after started having the oddest allergies. Now she can not eat anything with soy or corn in it. Do you know everything has this in it? She can't even eat cucumbers or onions either, aren't they mostly water? So cooking for her is a treat, but I come up with some great stuff that is easy and filling and she ate and ate! (Thanks to all my handy dandy papmered chef stuff it was easy to do!)
She helped me take one of my dreaded Saturday online test she's a wiz and I let her barrow my digital camra for pictures of her daughter.

On Monday I had another test in Cal and didn't do so hot .... I study my arse off for that test as well. I think I studied it right out of my brain. Well thats ok I'll make up for it next week.

I got word also on Monday about my health insurance petition. I was denied. Due to not having seen my current and new doctor. So on to my 2nd option which is fine at least I have a plan, so today after class I'm calling hubs running down to the base and flipping my insurance over. So I can see who I want when I want and just pay 20 % out of pocket with a $1,000 cap for a rolling year of OCT to OCT. Either way I'll finally get taken care of. Thank GOD. I am terrified of doctors. Doctors of all kinds and sorts. I've been messed up for quite sometime and when I finally find a good one, I have to leave or something happens. A misdiagnosis of my fathers condition and a bad mixture of his medication is what I believe happend to him. Unfortunately I didn't find out to many many months later.

I've been searching for a homiopathic doc in the area with no luck yet but hopefully next week we'll get the ball rolling. I'm really happy, it's a beautiful day and every breath gives me a 2nd chance.

So Happy Anniversary to me!

Later Days~

Pineapple, Pineapple, Pineapple!

2006-10-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

Oh how I miss Steve Irwin. In the beginning I thought he was crazy... but I miss him and this just made me laugh and laugh... He'll never be forgotten!

RIP Steve.

It's like Christmas and my Birthday all rolled into ONE!!!

2006-10-20T14:17:00.000-07:00

I have to thank Norman for helping me have a truly happy Friday!

I was getting kind of bummed not hearing any news yet about my health care but I was told to stop in next week because the guy hand walked my paperwork up this morning so it wasn't a total loss and Mr. Spicy got the run around about college through the military but he put me on speaker phone and we set that lady straight! We should be getting about 200 bucks back. Woo Hoo! Which in itself paid for my Pampered Chef habit and then some.

Speaking of Pampered Chef and Norman I got my package today! A whole week earlier than I thought I tore into it so fast the UPS woman hadn't even hit her truck yet. (Let me tell you that is not easy to do around here, they are the pros at dump and run.)

All my heat resistant spatchulas, my new dip caddy. My bamboo cheese board. The turn about and cheese slicer along with my meat forks. Woo Hoo. Hey honey look at all the stuff you bought at the Pampered Chef party you hosted. I got a few more things not pictured here but man o man ... I love me some kitchen stuff. Now I can go through and get rid of my cheap stuff that this replaces. I'm molding my kitchen slowly but surely and .... Oh Norman there is more stuff I want. Muawahahaha!

Later Days~

woo hoo..

2006-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

I lost 1 pound in a couple of days. My semi-dedication is working could it be truely working? Some people might say thats just 1 pound, 1 tiny see nothing pound.

I say...

1 pound = 16 oz (a box of pasta)
1 pound = 4 sticks of butter
1 pound = a small hand weight
1 pound = 1 of my chunky birds (not quite but I thought that was funny)

Just keep trucking on. If it workds or if it doesn't, it worked today.
I woke up with it being 39 degrees this morning. Burrr and shiver. I'm supposed to have coffee tonight with a friend down the street but I'm not feeling it. I've been thinking more and more of selling my house after a year is up. Just pick up and go with Mr. Spicy on his next journey. Or stay behind and deal with just me and use that time as personal growth. I'm pretty lucky that other than my health that is my biggest problem. Which is not really a problem. Hopefully today I'll get some good news so I can set up a new doctor appt. I'm excited about that. Finally getting some answers.

I'm thinking of getting into a chili cook off but I've never really made chili myself. Hmmmm.... Any suggestions would be good this is going to be for Nov 4th, 2006.

Left and Right 1 and 2... Oh God make her less perky!

2006-10-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Denise Austin is Kicking my A$$!

Between my sport hula-hoop of death and Mrs. Austin, I'm dying over here! Ok Ok so it's only been about a week of hooping and day 2 of Denise but still, why is this enjoyable?!?!

actually I'm looking forward to getting up every morning. I'm doing good by waking up with out an alarm clock with about 7 to 8 hours of solid sleep when I'm not getting pushed around or sheets stolen from me, I feel ok. Last night I wanted a snack so bad. So I made quite the little spread as Mr. Spicy called it.

I cut up an apple with my handy dandy Pampered Chef apple wedger. Quartered an Orange, sliced up some cheese and a few thin slices of pepperoni and a hand full of honey roasted cashews and took a study break. Mr. Spicy dove right in. I figured if I put in the work he wont be tempted to eat candy and chocolate covered items in front of me. I've also started taking the Spring Valley Brand of Diabetes Nutrition Daily pack and wow.... I don't know if it's just me but my floaters lightened up and I didn't wake up with a knock me down stomach pain.

That is such a blessing! Even though college is a bit tough and I'm super busy from time to time, I think things are turning around and It appears I'm actually getting a few lurking readers! Woo Hoo. I know I'm not that exciting but I hope to change all of that. To top it off my new Pampered Chef stuff should be here in a week. I'm excited. Very very excited.

I've noticed I'm not getting as sucked in by things anymore either. I will admit I'm a full on procrastinator. It's like the whole exercising thing, once I get started I'm ok, it's when I quit for a day or 2 or get thrown off my routine it will take me months to try to start back up. Is anyone else like that out there? OH and here's a brain bender for you if you know me. I don't think I even really like chips. I started to think about it and wow. It is blowing my mind, along with diet soda I like it but now I'd rather have water all the time. Is something wrong with me is my body just saying... I'm done with being unhealthy and bring all good things?
So either I'm losing my mind or changes are really happening.

I guess maybe both. I could be losing my bad habits and gaining new change. I'm starting to get into planning this baby shower it's not to bad it's almost going to be doing it self. I think I need to get one of those things that is made of rubber to go around my stomach to help me reshape while I'm on this kick of working out. Hmm or I could just wrap a garbage bag around my mid section like the wrestelers did in my high school... hahahah. Ok that amused me on such an odd level. Well hubs will be home soon to change his top... Apparently a pen exploded and my idea of getting the Tide pen wasn't a good one. You win some you lose some.

Later Days~

Everyone must have had the same Idea..

2006-10-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

Friday was payday. We had to go to the grocery store I said lets wait till Sunday it wont be so busy... man was I wrong it was an absolute mad house. But hey other than some basic meat for next weekends welcome home bbq for a soldier that came back from Iraq we're all good for about 3 weeks, and thats how I like it. Other than the staples... we're golden.

It's been 55 to 60 degrees all day. It's chilly but not chilly enough to turn on the heat but warm enough in the house not to have to turn on the air. It's been really dry lately, it's lotion season. The birdies are huddled together and we've placed a heavy comforter over them to keep the heat in for them.

Friday I finally got a little bit of hope. I went to talk to someone face to face about my health insurance. I found out a whole bunch of stuff I never knew the past 3 years I have been on it. I also found out I can change my health insurance to a different type.. kind of like an HMO to a PPO and just pay a little out of pocket and see who I want when I want. I can finally go to a real doctor is that possible? I just want my ear fixed... .I can't take the pain anymore and I've pretty much let my diabeties go for a while. I know I'm an idiot. I should hear something by wednesday and on to getting everything fixed about me.

I'm scared. I can't even stand needles and now they are going to have to cut 4 lumps out of my ear and reconstruct it. Mental note earrings and callcenter headsets bad. Never thought of it before all of this happend and I've been fighting for over 2 years to get them taken care of. I'm tired of my mother bugging the shit out of me all the time about them too. It would also be nice to be able to wear my hair up in a pony tail again not just in the house.

To top it off hubs has caused me pain many times because of them. He feels so bad, but if I'm laying down and he pulls the covers / sheets they rub them or if he flops around and hits me in the head while he's sleeping I wake up throbbing.

Keep your fingers crossed... after surgery I have 3 days of radiation and then just hope that they don't come back.

It's 745am on Monday at this point (I was updating a drafted post so the date might throw you) Why does watching Denise Austin ware you out? Man she's is quite the bouncy perky lady. What an inspiration. My truck is covered in sawdust because hubs is building a new speaker box for his jeep and didn't bother to move my truck out of the garage. How nice... *sigh*.... I think I'm going to get started and get moving for the day.... I am thinking of skipping class catching up on homework and house work and start fresh tomorrow.... I've been so run down I need a break.

Later Days~

For my Hubs...

2006-10-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

No means no, Mr. Turtle

2006-10-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...You just can't make this stuff up.

Gee Norm I can't sleep... heh

2006-10-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

Here it is about 12:10am and I thought I'd post a few pictures. Nothing really interesting to most of you ... just some thoughts in my head at the moment.

This I like to call the sport hula hoop of pain and suffering. I am bruised all up and down my torso and my ankels from the damn thing falling down. I used to be good at hooping but that was a long time ago. Now this thing is 4 pounds weighted and it's interesting. I keep trying I'll let ya know how it goes.

This is pure EvL unless you have a glass of ice water near by. His name is Calypso. He is a green cheek conure and in the beginning was my best friend. Then one day I had to leave it with MIL and FIL and the damn thing has hated me ever sence. My vet said it probably felt abandond and now bites me... it doesn't help that his cage is above my head so it has this dominate thing going on too. Soon he's going back into his own smaller cage maybe we can be friends again. Yes he will steal your ice cubes if you're not paying attention.

This is Spicy he is about a year old and he's my talker and flyer. Doen't really like to be petted but loves to sit on your shoulder or finger blowing you kisses and whisling a song for you. He chatters alot and loves to laugh and yes this is the one with the french accent.

My oldest baby is almost 3 years old. This is a fuzzy picture he doesn't sit still when the flash goes off. Tweeter was thought to be a girl when we bought him so we named him Sompon which is an Asian girls name but then we found out it was a boy. I always wanted a male bird named Charlie but thats another story. My baby here loves most people. Just wants everyone to pet his head. When we bought Tweeter they clipped his wings when I asked them not too and they were jacked up most of the time. One side has grown out but poor Tweeter has never been able to fly. I asked her not to trim his wings but she didn't listen. So Tweeter sits on my shoulder or sits on a paper plate next to me on the couch. For the most part he loves everyone.

Well it's now 1248am and I'm getting tired. I don't even know if my posting even made any sence. I'm normally taking better pictures I'll do my best.

Later Days~

"Good Morning Pretty Pretty Bird."

2006-10-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I wake up cause I swear I hear a little voice and a set of eyes staring at me.

"Good Morning pretty pretty bird." As my year old Cinnamon cocktail is staring at me sitting on my chest pecking at my nose giving me kisses.

"Why hello Spicy." (yes his name is Spicy)

Spicy says, "Hello baby I love you."

Now I know he doesn't understand what he says. I don't understand why it comes out in a French accent but it's cute and it brightened my day. Now on to the bigger question how the hell did you get out of your home?

Ah, the side door wasn't locked last night and he squeezed out when he saw day light. Such a sweet little bird.

He sings a few songs, and knows a few words/phrases.

Hello, Baby, I love you, Good Morning, Pretty Bird, Spicy, (hubs name), and Hey. I think there is more but I can't always pick it out being he runs some of it together. If we laugh he laughs too.

So on to another subject.

Somehow I got chosen to throw a baby shower for a girl I've only known for about 6 months and only started hanging out here 3 months ago. We were standing around and 2 other girls where like is someone going to throw you a shower? She said I don't think so because I don't really know anyone here, she just got stationed here as well. Then they both pointed at me saying, "Your friend should be doing it for you." Are you kidding me? I don't have children for a reason, and I have been to 3 baby showers in the past 12 years. I buy a present and a card say congratulations and leave it at that. These two women say, "don't worry we'll help you." It's been 3 weeks and no one has said a word other than, one of the women said well, my gift to her is the cake, and the other one said, well my gift to her will be putting the games together. Now I'm pissed the girl needs stuff not just cake and games.

So I get the decorations, which makes me mad because I've decided to spend my money on just baby items she needed. I have no contact with her family or his family and how the hell am I to get this all together? I'm on such a tight budget. My hubs is kind of angry too, he's friends with the husband on and off for a while they were stained together about 4 years ago.

Anyway when I bring up to the 2 women that she needs more things than just party items and they say well you know it's customary that the people that throw the party don't really buy gifts. I had no intention of ever doing this. Not like I have a ton of free time either.

The girl who is pregnat feels bad because she's like I'm sorry that you got pointed out to do this, I just got so excited when I thought I could have a party. And one of the other ladies said she was sorry for volunteering me I want out of this BS so bad. It's not even funny. I'm already dreading the baby games, one of the girls is talking about melting chocolate in diapers.. I absolutely hate this game and if you don't want me to hurl you will not have me participate. In fact I wont participate. I know make me out to be a bitch but hey I didn't want to do this anyway. I figure hubs and I have spent quite a bit of money on her and that in itself is enough.

Later Days~

Yesterday~

2006-10-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

I had a complete and total melt down yesterday. I think I just needed to get it all out. I have forgotten who I am. Wow and that was tough to realize. I'm holding on to things I really need to let go. I have such a strong personality and to top it off I've lost my sense of humor to make fun at ever situation I'm going through.

I've even looked back at my post on here and most of it is me trying / saying I'm going to change. How annoying. My life consisted of me just blending in. Now I'm beyond that. I don't know why or what's making me want to stand out but it's like a clock ticking away at me to hurry up and accomplish my goals. I had lost all motivation, there no sense of focus that I can keep for more than a minute or two. I've actually wondered if it was Adult onset ADD at one point and it's not. It's just me.

My mother and I never and I mean never have had a good relationship. I've been biting my tongue for a long time with her and just taking her bullshit and Hubs knows when I've talked to her because I get completely manic when he comes home he just looks at me and says... Oh hell you've talked to her haven't you. I was so proud of him last night, he was going to call her and talk to her and tell her what she's doing to me. That's the first time in 5 years he was willing to stick up for me with her. I understand him not wanting to get involved but he sees it's going to be the death of me.

Why do I deal with her you ask? Well I deal with her because she's the only family I have other than the prostitute crack head of a half sister, and well I want what is due to me. Maybe not in that order and here is where I feel Karma is kicking me in the ass.

I'm genuinely a good person. I give when I can and I'm told I a good friend to keep in your corner. It takes a while for me to call someone a friend, being stabbed in the back many times before. I'm quite generous when it is something I'm passionate about. My down fall which I personally think is a good trait is I say what's on my mind be it harsh or not. I guess I get that from my parents they were never ones to beat around the bush.

I used to think my father gave the greatest advice, but it hine site all he did was teach me to think for myself, and have faith in myself. Which in itself was great. I had to learn tact on my own. He didn't know the answers like I thought he did. The way I was raised was basically, "If the public school system didn't kill her nothing will." I wonder if he was hoping that I'd let everything in my life just roll off my back. I think it kills my mom to know that I'd give up my life for one more day with my dad. All those years I was around to help her and save her to keep her alive, the blood testing I had to go through just in case she needed bone marrow or anything else, why wasn't I able to be home to help him? This goes through my head at least 10 times a day. Some days it gets easier, some days I've accepted it. I worry though that because I'm still so hurt he hasn't been able to move on. I know in my heart he got what he wanted, and I'm so grateful for that gift for him. I'm just being selfish. So basically here I am bitching and complaining ... wa wa wa what about me. I'm putting it out there for everyone to see.

I never cared about what most people thought of me for the most part. My father and my husband where the only people I ever wanted to be proud of me, but I see I forgot that I needed to be proud of me too. I need an "awakening". I would love to become sort of an "awakened one". Just for myself to find some peace with this battle inside me. I need to start my day. Maybe today will be better than yesterday and yesterday will just be a memory.

Later Days~

Why do I put up with this...

2006-10-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, I woke up feeling decent. I even got in a 20 minute nap before class.
After class something must have happened to my brain because at some point I thought it would be a good idea to talk to my mother. Oh holy hell.

"Got Karma?" check.
"Karma kicking me in the ass." check.

I'm trying to figure out what I signed up for in my before physical life to deserve this. The only way I know she wont get to me is never to talk to her again. Then I ask myself, "What will that prove?" Absolutely positively nothing. Just that I'm pissed off once again and she will have just let it go because she pissed me off and that's her only purpose in life regardless if she sees it or not.

My health isn't the greatest it could be. I've done a lot in the past year to help change that and more so in the past month. I am tired of having my ass ridden every other time I talk to her because I didn't fulfill what she wanted me to do with my life.

Oh wait! I had great plans for my life. I stayed behind to take care of her that's right. Yea I'm full of piss an vinegar. Here I am 30 years old tring to finishing up college, and then start a career that probably wont start working in that field for another 3 years. I need a miracle and a break. One thing or another has to give. I can't stay angry forever I just want peace, financial freedom and total happiness. Oh yea thats everyone's utopia as well. Well I can dream can't I.

Later days~

Where I've been.

2006-10-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going on 3 or less hours of sleep. This class work load is about killing me at times. A few fortunate things have popped up here and there to ease up life for me a bit but not enough. I'm always scrambling for a few mins here or there.

Before I started this semester I made a few obligations but other than that I've been pretty sheltered in my house with my face planted in a book. I am thankful I have a husband that will run to the grocery store for me and cook dinner to give me a break it sucks taking exam after exam on a beautiful saturday. This should've been a beautiful 4 day vaca for me and hubs but it's the path I chose. Hell I can't even really talk to my friends on the phone except 5 mins here or there, when ever I can pick it up.

I was thankful that a very sweet lady and her husband here guilted me in to having dinner with them by saying, but we still owe you guys a dinner. (Just kidding guys :) ) I must have turned them down or cancelled 5 to 7 different times. So I did what ever I could to finish at least by 6pm that day and bake a cake to get my ass over there. I hadn't laugh that hard in a long time.
I haven't really been able to talk to my mom. Now normally that would be ok... but we're getting along for now and I'll take what I can get. One of my truest friends always says to me. "Sometimes you just have to pick your battles." I'll admit I get way to mad to easy sometimes. I hate having to explain myself or hear explanations because frankly I don't give a damn about most things. Sometimes I'll hold on to things. Eventually it all just goes away.

I like living here in my little south park town. I miss my friends who are scattered all over the country. There's only about a handful of people I would remotely call a friend anyway, I have a ton of aquantences, I think we all do. I wish I could take a part a quality of the people most dear to me in my life and reshape my thinking. I think I do that from time to time and that makes me a better person.
Well I'm tired. I'm out of here today to get my head on straight I'm getting "cabin fever" maybe I'll go look at new cars and go into the next town.

Later Days.

Mmmm Orange Tic Tac

2006-10-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

No that is not drugs I'm feeding my best little buddy. Apparently he likes orange tic tacs too. Disregard my yogurt cup I just had a snack.

OH ya when I pointed out to hubs that Tweets here liked this tic tac his responce was, "well ya it is orange in color, it's hard and it's fruity flavored." Which brings me to this. About every other day we give our little buddies some fruit flavored pellets to share. It dawns on me only they only eat certain ones. And tweets here only eats the orange and yellow ones. Most birds don't like the color red. Now I don't know why it's so threatining but hey. Yes I know my cockitel is a little plump I am too.

Later Days

2006-10-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

If you know me you know how much I just absolutely I love chicken. All kinds of chicken. Well hubs and I try only to treat ourselves to eating out once on the weekends. Being that I'm in college right now and not working it cuts down on our spending and we save quite a bit of money.

Well the local grocery store had whole chickens on sale. Now I've cooked a whole chicken once before and for some reason I swore I'd never do this again. I forgot why until about 15 mins ago. If said chicken comes with insides you have to pull them out if they are not in a baggy. When they are not in a baggy I freak. You guessed it.... I am freaking like no bodies business.

I know there are vegetarians out there that are probably cussing me out right about now. That's ok. I've cut way down on my meat intake, I even thought about going vegetarian, this puts me one step closer. Anyway here I am with a dilemma, I grabbed some tongs and gave it the good ole college try. I got most of what I think needs to come out. I was really proud of myself but now.... I think there are 2 more pieces that need to come out... What am I going to do. I'm going to give it a few more mins and give it another try.

Why is it when we say we'll never do anything again we forget and say it again. The worst part is I have 2 more chickens in the freezer.

Men!

2006-09-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Fall Classes For Men At:
The Learning Center For Adults

Registration Must Be Completed By:
Friday, September 29, 2006

Note: Due To The Complexity and Difficulty Level Of Their Contents, Class Sizes Will Be Limited To 8 Participants Maximum.

Class 1How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2The Toilet Paper Roll -- Does It Change Itself?Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5After Dinner Dishes -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6Loss Of Identity -- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7Learning How To Find Things -- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8Health Watch -- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To our Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost -- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11Learning to Live -- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14The Stove/Oven -- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

I just got here!

2006-09-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well it's a possiblity that the military is shipping my hubs somewhere to be a recruter. Granted it's more money a month buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt, I just bought my house in January of this year, annnnnnnnnnnnnddddd I like it here, for once it was a place didn't make me want to shoot my head off.

He may just be going with out me.

Up side: Doesn't have to go back to Iraq yet, more money, has more options in more places because highschools are everywhere.

Down side: We have to sell our house, move again, try to find another apartment to live in.

Nope I'm staying here!

Thanks for the Steal!

2006-09-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

I stole this from my friend on MySpace. For some reason it makes my husband laugh and laugh. So did the previous picture now he says it alot!

This picture is worth a thousand words all of which I can't say!

2006-08-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Even though I did really well on my Quiz today. (Getting 100%) This is all I have to say for the rest of the day! Have a great weekend, I'm going to Oktoberfest! (It's good to be half German.)

Thanks!

2006-08-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

So last night was somewhat of an easy night. No calculus homework other than learning the Unit Circle for a Quiz tomorrow. However I did catch up on some Astronomy HW, and right when I was settling in for some reading my cell phone rang.... something tells me, "DON'T PICK IT UP IF YOU DO YOU'LL BE SORRY!" But do I listen? Noooooooooooo. So now I've become unmotivated to do my reading and I really want off the phone. Finally after 30 mins she tires out and I say good night. I attempt to go back to the reading it's not going to happen for the 4th day in a row... now today I have to read it and get some work sheets done.... Crap.

On a brighter note I made a little friend in Cal and now if I'm stuck he said he would help me. He's a little odd but thats ok, I don't need a hot firerman or something to drool over while I'm crunching numbers. (Just Kidding Hubs hahaha)

Did I ever tell you how much I love my husband and how proud of him I am. I would conciter my self a strong woman but the last few days I just keep thinking I really don't know what I'd do with out him...... Friday will be 5 years that we've been together and in October it will have been 3 years that we have beem married.

I know this may seem weird but I do believe he was sent to me to save me. I had hit the lowest point in my life where I had thought I was truely alone, but I was to consumed in my own missery to realize I should've tried to look pass myself to help others. I was bitter and angry my fears had all come true. Then one day I just put it out there what I was looking for, and 2 weeks later he came. (damn next time I'm asking for money j/k)

Thank you for being my rock, thank for being the strength I didn't have when I didn't think I could go on, Thank you for being my best friend and making me laugh, Thank you for loving me as much as I love you....

Happy 5 years together!

And thanks to the few readers I have I'll do better to keep up dating!

Just aimlessing exsisting...

2006-08-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well what has my life consisted of lately....

Lets start off with the Mexican Cantina that starts at 5:30am every morning with the pitter patter of new homes going up behind my house and when I mean behind my house I mean less than 4 feet from my concrete fence.
One more "Hey Vato!" and I am personally going out there climbing a ladder and pushing one of them off the roof of said house they are currently constructing.

My classes are going ok. I mean at first it started to drag me down but down Calculus is kinda fun and so is Trig. I don't remember it being fun when I was in highschool.... man I'm getting old. In my Calc class the guy that sits behind me well ... I just recently realized it's a guy I mean I thought it was a toyboyish girl for the first 3 days. Then I saw his name was and he has man boobies so it disturbed me.

My nicey nice neighbors moved out over the weekend and back to Utah. I really liked them to bad. I hope who ever buys that house will be decent.

Has anyone ever heard of Tastefully Simple. I had some of the best dip from them. My friend went to a party and yum. I think I'm going to order a few things, just to tasty to pass up.

I'm having a catalog pampered chef show for a blogging friend of mine. I can't wait. Apparently neither can a few of my friends. It might not be the biggest show but hey. It'll work. All about helping each other out. Now if I can find a local Tupperware lady we'll be in business.

Well thats all for today kiddies. And see I did it at a decent hour this time.

Later Days~

arg

2006-08-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

It's 4:15am and college classes start today. I can't sleep, and it's not for the lack of trying. My mind is racing a million miles a minute or more. Mostly because I'm hacked off. At the end of May I started to take an On-line class, for some reason I couldn't get things synced up. I dropped the class on June 14, 2006 but now I find no one ever dropped me out of the class. So I received an F. Now I'm pissed. I don't get F's.

I had called the school told them at the time I couldn't do it face to face because I didn't have a car and wouldn't have a car for a few weeks. (My husband was doing an upgrade on his Jeep and he was using my vehicle.)

This girl Linda (I'm pretty sure that is what her name was. I do know it started with an L. Said no problem fax me the request and I'll take care of it. Here is where I am mad at myself. I didn't follow up. I had quite a few emergencies come up shortly after. So now today I have to go in and try to convience them I did drop the class in a timely mannor and that they now owe me money. I can not seem to find the fax I sent and the only thing I have is the fax number on a fax list print of out of the date I faxed in the paper work which was exactly 2 weeks after the class had began.

I hope for the best. Sometimes I just figure if it's going to happen it's going to happen to me.

Stole this from norman!

2006-07-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

Tranzliate this Shiznit to Jive!

Click the Spinn'n Rim Beotch!

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More Fun Facts Part 2

2006-06-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

(This is my 3rd post today! I love fun facts.. yes I've had a lot of time on my hands today!)

Enjoy!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know....Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

and thats all i have to say about that!

2006-06-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.

Did you know!

2006-06-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

Little known 'Did you know' facts (I stold this Idea from Norman)

Weird facts that you would rather not know....

Did you know?...It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Did you know?...Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Did you know?...Coca-Cola was originally contain cocaine.

Did you know?...23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

Did you know?...In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Did you know?...If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

Did you know?...Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

Did you know?...More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Did you know?...The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. Did you know?...The Eiffel Tower in Paris weighs over 1000 elephants.

Did you know?...there are actually two types of humans? The slightly larger and less intelligent kind, males, have protruding external genitalia called "penises" that are used for making important life decisions. Meanwhile, females have these nifty things called "vaginas" that no one understands yet, especially males

Did you know?... In 1879, a mail service in Belgium employed 37 cats to carry bundles of letters to villages around the town of Liege, this experiment was shorted-lived as the cats proved thoroughly undisciplined. Just plain weird...even by my standards.

Did you know?... The greatest recorded number of children that have been born by one mother is 69! The poor lass gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and a measly 4 sets of quadruplets. Even in the days before IVF!

Did you know?...Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds.Did you know?... Every 5 seconds a computer gets infected with a virus

Did you know?...13% of Americans actually believe that some parts of the moon are made of cheese...yummyDid you know?...The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Did you know?...If you could count the number of times a cricket chirps in one minute, divide by 2, add 9 and divide by 2 again, you would have the correct temperature in celcius degrees... How do they know that?

Did you know?...Fish that live more than 800 meters below the ocean surface don't have eyes. Eeewwwwww

Did you know?...Hydrogen is an explosive gas. Oxygen supports combustion. Yet when these are combined it is water which is used to put out fires.

Did you know?...Walt Disney's autograph bears no resemblance to the famous Disney logo he was also impotent. Bwahahahahahaha!

Did you know?...The Dutch town of Leeuwarden can be spelled 225 different ways- 1. Leeuwaarden2. Leewaarden3. Leewarden4. Leuwarden5. leuwaardenn6. Leuuwarrden......224. BradfordDid you know?...Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave. Go on, try it then

Did you know?...The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

Did you know?...Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Did you know?...Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

Did you know?...In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

Did you know?...If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds recieved in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Did you know?...Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Did you know?...The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

Did you know?...101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die during the movie.

Did you know?...To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

Did you know?...You're most likely to win the UK's Lotto if you buy your ticket on a saturday rather than a wednesday. Because you are more likey to die before the number draw than win.

Did you know?... In York, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow (except on Sundays)

Did you know?...On average, 90% Dutch teenagers can speak fluent English whereas only 80% American teenagers can speak fluent English. (Just incase you didnt know, English is not the first langauge of The Netherlands.)

Did you know?...In Texas, a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Only in Texas....

Did you know?...No piece of square dry paper can be folded in half more than 7 times

Did you know?...The people who make school kitchens, also make electric chairs.

Did you know?... The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

Did you know?..."Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Did you know?...The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

Did you know?...1 in every 200 people are a psychopath and they look just like everyone else......

Did you know?...An average human loses about 200 head hairs per day.

Did you know?... All the chemicals in the human body have a combined value of approximately £4.00 (6.25 Euro)

Did you know?...In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Did you know?...You are most likely to be murdered or raped by a family member or a close friend (98% of all murders). Whereas being murdered by a derranged lunatic down a dark alley is very rare.

Did you know?...Bill "Four eyes" Gates has enough money to buy every house in Alaska, greedy bastard!

Did you know?...Mexico City sinks about 10 inches a year

Did you know?...It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open? Next time you feel a sneeze coming try it!

Did you know?...The expression "to get fired" comes from long, long ago. When clans wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down.

Did you know?...The word 'corr' actually means 'odd' in Irish.

Did you know?...Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". In English this means 'The City of Angels'

Did you know?..
.In France, a five year old child can buy an alcholic drink in a bar

rocks rocks everywhere....

2006-06-26T01:30:00.000-07:00

As a child my favorite book at one point was "There are rocks in my socks!" Said the Ox to the Fox. OH - boy did I know what he was feeling. 16.5 ton of rock was dumped in my front yard that needed to be hauled to my back yard on Saturday morning. Holy Crap it was 2 huge piles of rocks.

At first I didn't know who was going to help us. People come and go, in and out of your life while you're in the military but alias we have really good friends. One neighbor came over and saw that we needed an extra shovel, and another neighbor let us borrow their wheel barrow, 2 of my girlfriends down the street came in the afternoon to help shovel and SSgt F. Came to help out, and Crazy LC stopped by for a few hours, and to my surprised one 12 year old girl came with her momma and was shovelin and raking with the best of us. She how ever reminded me of that Squirl in "Over the Hedge" after he drank the Mach 6 Energy drink.

Shovel, crash, shovel crash. push, dump, shake, run, start over. Load after unforgiving load of rocks. A bottle of sunscreen, three 16 inch sandwiches from the best mom and pop deli in town 4 tubs of potato salad, 20 bottles of powerade, 5 pitchers of ice water continuously flowing..... finally the back yard looks covered. Only took about 9 hours of back breaking work. The only thing that gives me solace is the fact that once this is done I will never have to water, fertalize, or mow any of it and it's done for the rest of all eternaty unless I want to change the color of them. Which for crying out loud would be crazy!

Now for the best part. I got me a pool. Nothing fancy but a pool that is 10 foot across and 2.5 feet deep holds a little over a 1,000 gals of water but you know... all I want is something to sit in and chill after a hot day. I hit Home Depot today, we bought some stepping stones, 4 tekki torches, and a gift for one of the ladies that helped us shovel. At some point this week I will set up these and get ready for the 4th of July weekend. All I need is some astro turf to go on top of my rocks before I put the pool down.

What else did I do today you ask.... well I got me a new pet! Hubs named him Killer. He's quite a site. A dark greyish head, blue / purplish body with a red tail. If you haven't guessed it's a beta. I felt guilty about placing him in a tiny bowel so I bought him a nicer home with a rock that has a hole in the middle for adventure. Right now at his later hour all my feathered friends are sleeping as should I but I'm wired .... I think it has to be the green tea I drank from the new Starbucks in the Target we have here. I also finshed my book, "The Devil wears Prada" it wasn't what I expected but it was good none the less. I'm going to be 30 in a few more weeks. Somedays I wonder what happend to my life, other days I to the point of exhaustion. It all works out I know. I'm feeling really fulfilled more and more everyday.... At what I have no clue, but hey it's a start!

3 am ramblings

2006-06-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

Every so often I go through a funky cycle of sleeping .... it is 3:19am.... you've guessed it, I'm in the funk. My husband is sleeping like a baby, it makes me sad I can't enjoy those same tired hours, instead I sit her listening to my birds rattling a cat toy with a tiny bell. It's their way of letting me know they know somebody is up. Once in a while I hear a little screech like they are having a dream or they are bumping into each other. Oh well.

I met the neighbor tonight, she moved in back in April. I decided I needed to be nice and invite her over she's 22 weeks pregnat she's tiny with a pooch, pretty sweet so far. I go on 3 to 4 mile walks everynight so I asked her if she ever wanted to go she was more than welcome to come.

Nothing really exciting happens here, other than other people's drama. I guess I could gossip here, get it out of my system. (heh) I am a military wife, not the catty I'm better than you or the I sleep around on my husband everytime he turns his back. I just so happen to be married to a man in the Military. I choose not to be around many other military spouses for the above 2 reasons. Oh and the drama that is some of there lives.

1st spouse I ever came in contact with slept around on her husband while he was in Iraq. Lied about it to everyone, it became a huge issue she lost all her friends on top of she treated her husband like crap. It's been almost a year and people are trying to be more accepting because we're deciding it's not our place to judge we just don't want to be seen with her alone in public because the rest of us will look bad. (see what you have to put up with)

"Pagan" I will call her. She, I met for 15 mins and knew her whole life story. All she talked about was being a nudist, and being a pagan and how other people are just watching the movie The craft and thinking they are witches. I've talked to her on the phone twice and took forever to get her to hang up. Now I don't care what you do and don't believe, but damn mamma save something to surprise people with. Oh yea... did I tell you how she sells sex toys and that her Gay Father In Law is her biggest client? Let me just throw out a WTF on that one.

"Blonde" well well well where do I begin? Let me see, her man and mine were stationed together on the east coast and went to war together during the intial invasion. Aparently when they met he was still married to his ex-wife and told her that he was divorced. The ex-wife didn't even know there was a problem and she was waiting for her husband to met up with her at their new duty station. He had school while they were inroute from one place to another. He decides to ask blonde to marry him while he was still married to the "other" wife. Yup, that is right folks he committed polygamy. Well he told her he found out the ex contested the divorce (lie) never asked for one and that they had to get remarried, 2 different times. I asked why she stayed with him after all of this ... she said she just wanted to be a stay at home mom and she would do it at any expense. Creepy, what people will do. It's a shame I really liked her too. She's really funny our husbands got along, then right after she told me all of this she dropped out of the light. I never judged her on it, never said anything about it to her. Maybe she was embarrassed afterwards that she ever said anything. (Oh yea did I say how she wanted to have 5 to 8 kids all boys?)

"Country Drama" Oh man this one is a friend of "Blonde" again her husband knew my husband, went to war together, seems nice enough but the girl has a lot of issues she needs to let go. Apparently he and she married 6 weeks after they met because he was getting deployed and once he got over in the dirt he mad a female friend and was telling his wife out of sight out of mind... oh man... WTH! So thats all she's ever talked about and that was enough about that. It's like you are choosing to be with someone, after all this crap happens don't hold on. Let it go already.

So here I am in my little south park town, in my new house with my great husband, just keeping to myself just trucking along. Don't get me wrong I've met some wonderful people along the way and as my 30th birthday is coming up I need less and less people around me. I'm not saying I want "better" people around me but I would like to meet people that are on my same page in life. What ever that may be, that is what I would like. Makes things so much easier.

So if you know me and know where I'm at stop by lets have a Margarita or a Johnwalker and Coke, heck I'll even get ya a beer (even though I'm alergic to it).

Good times had by all.

2006-06-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Ever feel so lost that you can't focus or pull it all together. The past few weeks I've been in an odd funk. I just finshed my Florida class not to long ago and it looks like I got an A. I'm in another class right now that I'm way behind in due to some computer problems, but I have no sence of urgency, and I'm extremely unhappy.

I have a good life. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I am luckier than most. What am I missing? The weather here is perfect. I really wish I knew what it is that I am missing. I am 2 classes away from my AA. The one I'm currently in and one more in the fall. I want to drop the one I'm in now and start over in the Fall. I want a break. I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

Ever sit around and have a million pictures flood you're mind from the past? Or conversations, past relationships, a ton of why's and what if's you can't change but they are still there. That is where I am. This underlying guilt that I could've done something to change it all.

I can't Focus, did I say that already? It's like I can / will help anyone else but I can't help myself. I can fix or figure out for others but I can't take my own advice. Does that mean I don't love myself enough to do something about my void? Asking questions I can not answer, I know. Well I don't expect that I'll ever get those answer either until I find away to have some sort of blind faith again, or able to let it go out of my mind. Yea, that'll happen soon.

I can either look for the good in people up front then dislike them later because something usually annoys me about most of the people I meet around here. Or I can just choose to hate everyone up front then realize they are ok later on. Even I know the 2nd choice is no way to meet people / live life either. It however is the safer way to protect your being.

Something will pan out and guide me through, I don't know why or how that just popped into my head but it sounded good for now.

Randomness...

2006-05-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

Well I'm just taking a breather before I get started over here on my journey to take hubs to the airport. I used to like long trips by myself, maybe this will break me out of my shell once again. I drive all over the place and never have fear. I'd do it day time, night time didn't really matter.

It's about an hour and 20 mins to get to the airport. So thats an hour and 20 mins I have to be alone with my thoughts on the way back. I'll probably crack myself up with some past story in my head. Yep. Sometimes I wish I was going home too. I miss my friends. Just financially and due to school sacrafices have to be made. I know in my heart I'm doing the right thing.

Besides I'll be home in July if hurricane season isn't to bad. I hope to drive but going across TX is a killer. All 859 miles of it. But hey maybe I can stop and meet up with IAMNorman for a drinky poo. (wink wink)

Well on to getting ready. Have a happy work week everyone!

A new MEEEEEE!

2006-05-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hey!

Well I've decided to change my template, tell me what you think! My tw0 faithful readers. Well I started classes yesterday ... I know I know ... only 7 days of a break. (And all I did was finish unpacking some boxes too.) Hubby is leaving in a few days... I'll be all by my lonesome, can you say... GIRLS NIGHT OUT! WOOOOO HOOOO! Get my drink on. j/k -

I'm such a light weight anymore my "Crunk" nights are over. (and just in case you were wondering it means crazy drunk) Speaking of Crunk, check this out: CRUNKNESS

I myself am:

I did hit 84% but even for me that was just guessing at the right answers! I got a good laugh out of it anyway.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend... I'll be blogging on and off I have alot on my mind.

Later Days~

Agoraphobia, agora-what?

2006-05-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

The day before yesterday I decided to ask my husbands (newly separated from the military)boss if she'd like to go to lunch, she said yes. I go to pick her up she seems a little weary and off we go to the local BBQ place. We get to talking and she's in the midst of finding herself a job, but she's also realizing she doesn't really want to leave the house anymore either. Oh boy I know that feeling all to well.

One min you have a job and your life is completely busy, the next min your time off feels more like a trap and your happy at home. Feeling safe in your own environment/clutter. Well anywho we get going and pull up to the BBQ place and her ex-stalking type husband is there.

"Hey, isn't that your ex-hubby? (pointing at vehicle)"
"Oh man, why is he here? I didn't tell him I don't think."
"Are you kidding me? Do you think he's following you?"
"Wouldn't that be my luck, I try to go out and not let him know and he's there."

I asked if she wanted to go somewhere else she said no, the most that will happen is that he will want to join us for lunch. (Oh Joy- possible lunch with a Over obsessed schizophrenic, manic depressive psycho that wont take his meds and can kill me in a blink of an eye)

"Okay, sure no problem." (praying)

As life may take pitty on me from time to time, as we walked in he was paying and leaving with his lunch buddies. (whew)

He says, "Well gosh if I had known we all could've had lunch together. That would've been fun right honey?"

"oh yea sure, have a good day talk to you later."

Its quiet in the BBQ place for about 10 mins. We're the only one's in there for the moment. The tea is soothing. She was a school teacher before she joined the military 12 years ago. Petite and cute. Has a fun personality, and really loves teaching. She's endured a lot over the past 17 years. There's a sense of total accomplishment there a lot of pride, but also I could feel here is a woman lost. Just like me if only for a moment. We have some of the same issues, we laugh at a lot of the same things. I feel grounded when I'm around her.

I've been looking back on my life and my decision I've chosen to make in my life some bad some good, Some funny some sad. I've spent way to much time comparing myself to everyone else. Wanting to be thinner like.... Be smarter than... Have success more than ..... None of this has done one bit of good, and through it all I don't know who I want to be.

All I do know is I want to be me, who ever that is.

WooT Spring Semester is OVER!!!

2006-05-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

I made it through another sememster. I had 2 student "Art Shows" this week, and if I do say so myself I got some pretty nice complements. Actually my favorite photography professor went to check out my work in the other class. I was touched, to get a complement out of that is like pulling teeth. Don't get me wrong he never said anything negative but to say how proud he was / is of me and that I "just might have something there" is pretty cool. I recieved 2 A's for thos classes. (go me, go me, dancing around)

For me classes start again on Thursday 11 May 06, I've got less than a week to finish going through my boxes hard core. Moving during the middle of the semester was a pain in the ass for the most part we got everything up but I noticed I was missing stuff so now as I pull out box after box of stuff... I'm finding it. Oh and OH what did I find? I had an apartment ment with a blogger friend of mind and when people would come over we would make them take pictures with this huge stuffed bunny (Bugs Bunny) of course. I found one of us with the bunny for New Years 2000/2001. I still have the video of that new years. Man I was drunk. Everyone was drunk except Jules who was prego and Burpy Boy Stalker who happend to be alergic to alcohol. Burpy had taken a liking to me. Even after seeing that I was "dating" one of the guys that attended the party. The next day he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies I said I had to think about it and I'd get back to him. (The answer is NO Burpy I was saying that to be nice.) So he calls 15 mins later saying ... well have you thought about it? You haven't called me.

Are you kidding me? Did you mean today? So again I said.... "I'll call you and let you know ok, I have some things I need to take care of now." I can't remember how many phone calls I received 30 mins after 30 mins finally after the 8th one I think I begged the roomie to answer the phone and say I was out. Finally the nuttyness stopped. I look back and think about my life before my husband... and all I can say is ... WTF!

Later Days!

Once again I'm haunted....

2006-05-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

by my husbands ex-wife that is. I've never met this woman and every so often she has done something in the past that f*cks with our lives. In 1998 my hubs married a psycho with a slew of mental problems. He was about 4 years into his military career decided to go to college and because of nut job he fail 4 classes that Uncle Sam was paying for. (He didn't know how college worked so never thought of withdrawing from the class so as not to fail and his councilor never told him) Until last semester he put school on hold and has been struggling to get every thing on track get back up to speed this that and the other. Because of his ex b!tch he got behind in promotions and all sorts of stuff. I've been helping him fight for the past few years to get back up to speed it's been working until the wonderful news I got 2 days ago.

The military paid for last semesters class, and is paying for this semesters classes, but wont pay for next semesters class .... And why you ask... Even though he's gotten grades of: B and 2 A's??? They told him they did him a favor by wavering that in, but now they are all centralized and because of what happened almost 8 years ago... They will no longer pay for his college until he has a 2.0 gpa. Now I've pulled my husbands Transcripts and he has never received anything lower than a B with the exception of 1 C according to what I saw.

But the military has decided that they are only going to count the classes they paid for. Son of a ..... Man... everytime I get 2 steps forward I get to take 3 steps back. Which means unless I can get this taken care of and try to get it wiped off his record we have to pay for his college classes until he hits a 2.0 gpa with just the classes they pay for. So summer classes are around the corner and I've signed him up for the photography class I've just taken which with a little effort he'll get another A.

As I take a deep breath, and try to start my day watching the sun come up over the mountain. I imagine of ways I could hurt his ex-wife and get away with it...heh... on the other hand what she did was in the past and I have to move on from here I'm thankful they never had kids together. I love my hubs more than anything. I'll fight for what ever I need too, life is never easy and I've been through some sort of struggle for anything I've really wanted or needed out of life-

Why should it stop now. All I know is it's always an adventure.

"Ooopsie, wrong house."

2006-05-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a girls night house/home interiors party. I had only been to hostest house once before. She lived on base/post so you know all the new housing looks alike. (The basic cookie cutter houses) To top it off every street had the same house number, every corner 2nd house had a curvey driveway....You get where I'm going here, it's the military everything must be uniform.

I asked a girl that is the wife of a soldier my husband went to war with if she would like to join me, being she's having her house built and would probably want to decorate, she said yes.

So we're off. On our way on post we show our ID's at the gate smile pretty for the MP's and they wish us a nice night. (I'm bad with directions unless I've driven them a few times... ) Ok go to 3rd light, make left. Go all the way down behind bank and PX to stop sign, make left. Alrighty, first street on left turn there. So far soooooo good, we're in the neighborhood the next turn is going to be a right one, not thinking I take the first right.... (I even had paper directions, I just missed the 3 or 4th right and the street name at the bottom being I folded the paper.)

Second house, curvey driveway #103 yep looks the same. We park get out walk up to the door smell some wonderful food cooking ( and I knew there was going to be food there soooo I couldn't be wrong right?.) well a very nice "dark" skinned man with a lovely smile answered the door and said hello.

All I could say with a smile was, "Ooopsie, Wrong House." (beat read and snickering) he starts laughing too. Then it dawned on me I needed to go 3 streets down. This poor man was standing there wondering why these 2 white women we're at his door. I wanted to say... "Avon Calling" to be funny but by that time the girl I was wish was laughing and telling him what ever he was cooking sure did smell good. So we leave and I say... "We're sooooo not going to talk about this!" She said, "Are you kidding me, I'm telling everyone." We both just laugh and laugh and go on to the party. Three streets down 2nd house curvey driveway, #103 yep... We're here. When she answered, we busted out laughing. Over all it was a good night, I only bought 10 bucks worth of stuff but over all, the food was yummy, fondue my fav.

So the moral of the story is: If you write down directions on a folded piece of paper make sure that you unfold it again when you're following them.

Chuck Norris Fun Fact: "Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."

I missed the Red and White ball????

2006-04-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I'm really bummed. I am so out of the loop that my college had a freakin Red and White Ball (school colors) and I didn't even know about it. It's already like pulling teeth out of my husband to get him to tell me if there is going to be a Military Ball or Dining In, and I understand he doesn't like to go because he doesn't like his Class A's, but this was he wouldn't have had the chance to say no!

How did I come across this info you ask? Well another student that is in my photography class who happens to be 15 years old posted pictures of her and her mother going. Just nutty. Here it is another Saturday of cleaning and bumming around the house after going to the photo lab. Hubs is working today, out driving in a "circle" so 18 year old AIT students learn to shoot at a target while moving. My tax dollars at work.

Well kiddies I have to take a shower then off to the lab to be done with the semester.

Here I am!

2006-04-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just wonder why I get dedicated to something then I just fall off the map...

The less I have to do the more I procrastinate. Lets give my 2 faithful readers an update.

I signed up for summer classes and the local college, and for 1 that is out of state. The've finally agreed to let me stay here and not have to go back to the penisula to have to finish college. If all goes well I'll have 2 degrees by the end of the fall session. Then on to a bachlors. I've changed my mind a million times. I just know I want to finish to say I did it at this point.

I've made a few new friends lately and photography is going well. I'm going to be in 2 College Art shows here. I'm quite excited for the most part. And my favorite thing of all to talk about is..... (dum dum dum) Karma and how it can be a Btch. :)

Don't talk about what you have that is better than everybody else... cause it all could be taken from you in a sec.... thats all I'm saying.

My littlest birdie has learned to talk. It yells out Hello everymorning and Pretty bird every evening. Even says sweatheart and my husbands name. On top of wisleing a few tunes.... it's a charmer... right now it's "Bridge over River Quy" (sp) Well for the mere fact I'm boring the crap out of you... have a great weekend.

Rest in Peace Dad....

2006-04-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was 5 years ago my father passed away.

I miss you dad....

Oh Where the Heck has Spicy Been?

2006-03-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Yea... I ask myself that too sometimes. Well after my moms visit it became "Spring Break" at the college. I thought I would play catch up but that was a failed attempt at doing any sort of thing.

All of a sudden I'm back in Pre-Calculus thinking .. ."oh man why didn't I do any homework over spring break?" Alas I'm catching up slowly but surely. My college in Florida is giving me greif about not taking a "finishing" class there but how the heck is that possible when I'm 2000 miles away and not by choice. I explained to this lady repeatedly over and over I am "married to the military" I go where they tell me too all I am is Sgt Maj of the house, and if all goes well maybe called Household 6 after a while. Other than that I am a nobody!

So here is my sorta answer she gave me.... "I'll try to see if you can take it on-line and talk to the professor about the 2 days you have to show up being that you are in another state.

Why such a delema? Well it's a 1 credit class that is about 66 bucks and it will cost me about 2500 to take it if I have to drive across country and live in florida for 9 weeks. OMG! Classes end here on May 9 and start in Florida May 11. Driving across TX alone is 859 miles of pure hell.

Florida requires this class so no folks.... it CANNOT be waivered. (I've tried) The crappy part it wasn't a requirement until after I moved away from GA. Oh lets see... 10 months ago or some crap like that. I would've been willing to drive from GA to Florida a couple times a month it was only 5 hours... but nooooooooo. That would've been to easy. So here I am playing the waiting game.... hurry up and wait hurry up and wait.

"By the way the FBI came to my house to check up on my neighbor, thats always a creepy feeling."

2006-03-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

Man I haven't been around for a while but I'm here!

My mothers visit totatly and completely wore me out. I have some nifty pictures to add and it snowed! On 2 seprate days, aparently this was a freak event here.

2006-03-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

2 hours and counting .. .my mom will be here in no time....

Panic... I feel an overwhelming feeling and I pray everything will work it's self out, it took me moving 2000 miles away to get along with her over the phone after 27 years of being mentally beaten. Now she's on my turf! Bwuahahahhaha! I have been waiting for this moment for a long long time! It's finally here.

All jokes aside.. we're going to have fun if it kills me... (and it just might)

SC

Crashed and Burn...

2006-03-06T22:31:00.000-07:00

I hit ultimate rock bottom today. PreCalculus test day- I didn't just fail this test I obliterated it. I've hit an all time breaking point where I've realized I have bitten off more than I can chew. What the hell happend? I know what happend, my great underpressure skills ran away from me.

I dig my professor he's a great guy, and to boot he likes me. This is the 2nd Math class I've taken with him and he knows I bust my ass. I walked into his office about to lose my ever loving mind and said..... I'm going to fail and I wanted to warn you - I have no clue what the hell I've been doing the past 8 weeks. He knows I've had to do alot on top of being sick on and off. He's a kind man and understanding. He also has faith in me that I will redeam myself and he'll help me get there. I told him the truth I haven't had the time, the energy or the dedication I did last semester. He liked my honesty... I said I take full responceability for slacking, he appreciated too.

I put my Independant consulting on hold as well today. I don't need the added pressures. My mom is coming into town tomorrow. Pray for me, Pray for a good time and no fighting. My father - in - law has fractured 2 vertibre in his back, I feel for the man he's had it quite rough lately. My husband is holding up well he's a strong man, but I worry about him sometimes, wasn't the same after coming back from Iraq with war and all. What will be will be and he knows I'll be here if he needs me. I used to be really strong I handled everything alone, I mean I got used to it. Some where some how I've gotten soft and have gotten to the point I wanted someone else to deal with the crap and take care of me for a while. That's over. I think the old determind me is on the mend. Day by Day.

I'm exercizing again everyday or at least 5 to 6 days a week. It's made the biggest difference in my attitude. Meditating everyday for at least 10 mins makes a difference too. I'm getting healthy and I can feel it. Thanks for everyones support, I know you don't all comment but I know you're there and if I can make one bit of difference or help someone in any way thats a wonderful thing in it's self.

"One day at a time, No Guilt, Move ON!" www.dwlz.com

Reflection

2006-03-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share this I don't know if you can read the verbage that well it brings good point. All day I hear about how bad war is and how we shouldn't be there and blah blah blah, and thats fine. Soldiers do what they have too so we can too. I live a good life cause my soldier fights for me. (click on picture it makes it bigger)

Hubs new Toy.

2006-02-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

This is the view I get from my back yard. They are not clear but they are some really, pretty and peaceful mountains. Wish you all could come and BBQ with us in our new back yard. Below is a pic of my hubs with his new weekend pass time. Thank goodness he's learning to cook.
Woo woo! Love that Butt!

This is my hubs. And this is our new BBQ grill. We decided to make chicken and beef shishkabobs and grilled home made garlic bread, mmmmmmmmmm. He did a very good job for his first time alone cooking.

I'll be going away for a few months this summer and this is how he's going to be cooking, I figure we better start teaching him how now.... so that way we'll be really prepaired for the future.

Please notice that we have bought the Craftsmen bbq set so that it can keep with his "tool" theme.

I must really really really love him. I'm so proud of him. I know I don't say it enough but he reads this and he'll get a kick out of these pictures.

More to come.... dum dum dum....

Why do we do this to our Brains?

2006-02-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

It's Friday. My sorta freeday. I don't have classes today so I sleep in about 45 mins get up eat a little breakfast and start in on rotting my brain with the morning talk show racket. This consist of "That ain't my baby." To " You slept with my brother." After about 15 mins I feel my brain liquify and ooze out of me ear on to my shoulder.

The phone will ring it'll break my concentration and I'm off to checking my email and catching up my blog reading. I mindlessly flip through channels and realize I have XM radio which I'll flip on and be content for the rest of the day. It's good to do mindless hours of homework too.

Speaking of which I should head off and get done. Have a good Friday.

2006-02-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

This is different than my normal post.

Normally I try to keep things light and airy. Today I've got a lot on my mind. I'm finally admitting to myself I'm a full fledge Diabetic. I've known for quite sometime, and I'd put it out of my mind, pretty much been in denial. I did really well in the beginning. I lost weight I watched my diet. I checked my gluclose levels. I did everything a good little diabetic was to do.

Then one day someone that didn't even know me... .Highly pissed me off. All my hard work and effort flew out the window and I haven't given a rats ass about my health since. My husband has been a great supporter of any decision I make. He tells me he has faith in me and everything positive, but nothing changes. I thought finding out I was a diabetic shortly after my father died from it would've been my wakeup call. Finding out if I didn't change I'd have to shoot myself up with needles that I'm deathly afraid of would keep me on track but it didn't.

Watching my friend getting ready to lose her eyesight....It didn't. Watching others go through some of the most horrible things from not controlling their sugar intake would make me change.

I had 2 conversations last night, one with a girl that wants to lose weight and not become diabetic like her father who died from it when she was 8. Another with a woman who's had diabetes for 15 years and just wants to do what she wants to do cause it's more of a rebellious thing. This from a woman whose gone into coma from spiking sugar levels and can't walk properly. She started telling me about what happened when she would go into ketosis (sp)her kidneys start to shut down, and all her symptoms.

Last night it happened. I asked for a wake up call and I think I got it. 2 Hours after I went to sleep I woke up with my stomach feeling really weird. I hadn't eaten in about 6 hours .... So everything should've been digested. Lets put it this way it wasn't and I was sick as a dog. That's putting it mildly. Other thanks are happening to me as well. So here I am realizing a disease I can control is killing me. My levels are out of wack and I'm a mental wreck over the whole thing.

This is one of the hardest things I've had to do. I know it's going to be a struggle but no one can do this but me right? I mean I'm it. I choose my own destiny and I have to chose to live and live healthy and stop being scared and paranoid.

Here it is folks... I've finally put myself out there.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufrain SSR

My friend -

2006-02-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

I sooo forgot to tell you what are new pink friends name was yesterday!

Fred, Fred the Florida Flamingo.

Let me tell you how 3F (get it... fred florida flamingo) came into our lives yesterday.

I'm in a 35mm photography class which required me to take pictures with themes... well my theme this week was "American Bandstand" and how music has shapped todays youth..blah blah blah... so I'm traditionalist I wanted a guy with tatoo's and a guitar and the woods/park with tree's type area....

Wouldn't you know it everytime I wanted to go to the park it freakin rains... it never rains here only during monsoon and thats nothing more than a Florida afternoon thunderstorm. Well anywho he had to come to my house (good thing military had a 4 day weekend and hubs was home) because I had never met this guy in person only on myspace.com and well I took my chances.... (call me crazy it's been 4 years 5 months18 days since I've last met someone from the internet) So 2 MP's (yep thats ARMY lingo) show up come in and are very nice sweet and not bad to look at I might add. (sorry hubs)

I start snappen pictures some digital some 35mm (I'm taking both classes right now) and just under 2 hours into it almost finished... a knock at the door.... it was my friendly UPS guy :) hubs says hey did you order something? I say no, I didn't .... he rips open the box in the other room I hear.. What the..... and everyone bust out laughing. I couldn't see right away then I see a pink head peek around the corner.... and guess who-

It's Fred! He had a name with in 2 mins I think. So my new friends where a bit confused and I told them how I wanted nothing more than my pink flamingo and my friend got it for me. YaY!

Thats the story of fred..... (oh yea and some of the digital pics came out good too) Today I'm going to develope in the dark room... lets hope all goes well there.

Knock Knock ...

2006-02-17T18:20:00.000-07:00

OH hey UPS Just stopped by..... and guess what I got!

Thanks Hot Biscuit for my really cool house warming gift you're the best...

HUGS :)

No you didn't... OH YES I DID!

2006-02-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

"Just call me butter baby, cause I'm on a roll!"

I'm surfing the net cause my Calculus class was cancelled due to one of those "Teacher Days" I think someone wanted to use "Teacher Day" as a way of getting out of day classes on V-day!

I came across the above saying and I absofreakinlutly love it!

(That and a few of you didn't like being called Hooker back in the day.)

Which brings me to thoughts of your momma jokes and childish put downs. Which once your laughing you can't stop.

Last semester I was taking College Algebra and there was a guy in my class that had a very heavy Hungarian accent (I sware to you he sounded just like the Terminator) he was stating that one of his co-workers put up her hand and said to him.

"I'm giving you my left, cause you aint right." I about died laughing right there ... him saying that with his accent was way to funny. What made it funnier whats he didn't understand what it ment. So then with out missing abeat I look right at him and say...

"Stop buying Magazines "Andy" you have enough issues." Again the group was in laughter people coming up with all sorts of sayings and such. I just thought I'd share. Now I thought I'd add one more thing:

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?

..and then you add eggsand sugar...and you get cake?

Where did the glue go?

NEED AN ANSWER?
You know darned well where it went!

That's what makes the cake Stick to your BUTT!

Happy Valentines Day

2006-02-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

There once was a time my husband was a slight romantic guy.
(Probably just trying to get sex out of me)

I used to get cards and stuffed animals and notes...
(again had to be sex)

Being we just moved into our new home that we had built I didn't really want anything for valentines day even though I'd joke about. Last year he bought me a card and pasted candy heart messages in it to tell me he loved me. (Quite inventive) I really didn't think he'd top that.

I don't know if I ever mentioned if hubs was taking a welding class on here, but he is. He made me a vase out of metal and bought some flower/candle thingys my candle lady/friend makes, it was the sweetest thing ever and he engraved the metal vase. (Absolutely Classic)

Hope you're Valentines Day is just as sweet.

SC

2006-02-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality.Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine.You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion.You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's" Your Religious Philosophy?

previous post thoughts

2006-02-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

I just had to say for as much as I love and I do mean LOVE Asian food this couldn't be more true.

I tried to change my template but things didn't go so well... I"ll keep trying sorry for the construction issues.

yum

2006-02-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary.People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Just a little Tid-bit of info....

2006-02-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/pink_flamingo/

2006-02-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

Ok so I thought I'll post more if I'm held accountable and if people really are interested in my blog post on top of more and more interesting things are poping up.

I now have a notify list .... just follow the instructions and you're well on your way ...

(thanks norman.. I stole it from you!)

R O C K S vs flamingo

2006-02-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

OH Where OH Where do I begin...

As you know I've been trying to get settled in the new house. The way it works around here is you get a basic front yard then you have to go and find things you would like for your front yard. (Pretty basic this is how it normally works right?)

I wanted a plastic pink Flamingo... I would've been very very very happy with a plastic pink flamingo..... I seriously wanted this flamingo.... guess what ..... I couldn't find a flamingo. (I like typing the word flamingo :) )

Hubs has been on leave for 2 weeks... he gets easily distracted, and or entertained (depends on how you look at it) He on the other hand ... really wanted some really big Rocks for the front yard, and living in the desert type mountain area that we do.... you can get them free or you can pay for them ... but being you can get them free it's quite silly to pay for them.... or so I thought.

Minding my own business doing my Pre-calculus College homework and a photography project at the same time he runs into the office and says.... "Oh man did you see that huge pile of rocks out there?" Now to let you know the builder is still building more houses and well they are clearing land and having to move what would end up being very expensive rock later on but for the moment they are free. (Or we like to think.)

He squirming like a kid in a candy store really wanting to drag me out there to see what the hell is going on, I tell him go on and say you have the 4 x 4 let me do my homework and if you see something come back and get me. Huge mistake on my part.

Not 10 mins later he's back in the house, trying to get me to go back there with him cause apparently Baby Jesus himself has been embedded into a rock and that's the one he has to have. Reluctantly we go, I had a really bad feeling about me going back there. I just felt really off. I even told him so he assured me that everything would be ok.

We get there....

There are soooooo many rocks. (Still thinking about my Plastic Pink Flamingo.)

There it is ... the Baby Jesus Rock. It has to be 300 pounds. "Are you kidding me? You think I help you lift it? We can't even roll it!" Watching him was like watching a lone ant try to carry a slice of bread off a picnic blanket.

A few mins later I'm walking around just looking and picking out a few small ones.... I take a step and l o s e my bALancE I stepped on an oddly shaped rock about the size of a golf ball I didn't see cause I had another rock in my hands. Down I go. Almost slamming my head into the 300 lb + Baby Jesus Rock... Luckily I saw it coming I turned my body and hit it with my back, I've torn, something in my foot. O M G I'm going to died. (Not really but for a brief moment I wanted to kill hubs)

I had a bad feeling in the beginning ... I've learned to listen to that little voice. 2 1/2 days laid up. It's getting better. Aleve is my friend. (and I've almost caught up on my homework)

And all he could say was, "I'm sorry you didn't watch what you were doing and you made yourself fall down." oh yea you guessed it folks, I about lost my ever loving mind. I didn't want to go out there in the first place. I was the one that said I had a bad feeling something was going to happen. I truly believe in Karma..... but yet... this was solely and completely my fault. Yep. Personally if you can't just give an apology and don't know a damn thing about empathy. I suggest you don't give back handed ones. That's just me.

I still want my Plastic Pink Flamingo!!!!!!

But as you can see I found something pretty close and it makes noise. :)

Later Days

Good Deed of the Day...

2006-02-05T00:47:00.000-07:00

Well kiddies I'm all moved in. I have been in the process of trying to play catch up on my school work and unpack.

I finally got to pick up my brand new Bike. Woohoo. This is how my day went on Friday.

Friday wake up 0715 (15 mins before alarm) Sun shinning right into my eyes... don't have curtains in the back of the house yet .... jump in shower be first in line to get Oil Change.

Hubs finally wakes up, around 8ish. Complains that he's hungry, relizing wont be first in line for oil change now decided to just get dressed go get breakfast. McD's here I come!

10:00 am at oil change place, tell them about small leak and that it could be loose oil plug, they state will check it out. (Now that I've dripped oil on my brand freakin new drive way now I'm pissed.) Informed leak was indeed loose oil plug.

While in waiting area Maury Povich was on TV with "That aint my baby, What ever What ever I do what I want." Brain cells fall on to floor. Get vehicle and we're off to go grocery shoping.

Only a few more items to get heading towards milk and dairy area in back of store, woman frantically pacing loudly says, "someone help me I'm going to have a seizzure, please help me walk so I can breath and calm down." I grab woman with another man and start to walk with her and rub her back she says to call her husband (the one day I leave my phone in the car) Everyone freezes I look up to tell my husband to go get help and get someone to call 911. He takes off. The woman looks at me and says she's sorry and she' s going to start screaming cause it's going to start to hurt any second. Oh man did she ever start screaming, her knees buckle and all 3 of us start to slowly get on the floor. People are screaming for medics or a nurse. Finally a lady that is shopping who is a nurse comes back there. We call the ladies husband and he shows up, the paramedics show up and by then the lady is fine she pulled out of it and left the store. Had to give statement to store and to MP's. Grabbed shopping cart and left I couldn't even finish my shopping.

Went home baked cake and took an hour nap.

Decided hey lets hook up the trailer and go finally get those bikes we had built. So we're off it's about 4:30pm driving down the street the traffic is starting to back up. (This is a small town even on it's busiest days traffic doesn't back up) A motorcycle has gone down the guy is under his bike but he's leaning up and talking paramedics pull up he's ok we had to take a detour through a parking lot.

I told my husband if you ever encounter a motorcycle accident what ever you do don't move the person and tell them not to move. You never know if they broke their back but haven't done any damage to their spinal cord yet. (I know from experience)

3 Lights down we hear a crash and see smoke another motorcycle with a child on the back gets hit by a car. (Are you kidding me? I mean 3 lights down) This one is bad. My husband with out missing a beat grabs the fire estiguisher and runs through traffic to get to the guy. I pull the truck around park look for the first aid kit I carry (oh crap I took it out cause I needed the room to move my crap) I grab my sweatshirt jacket incase they needed it to stop the bleeding 911 is called and the guy asked my husband to call his girlfriend and tell her what happend. The child was about 8 or 9 and the guys leg is badly broken both get Air Lifted.

We get back in the car and go about 4 more lights it's now 545pm. We get our bikes. (granted ours are petal bikes and not motorcycles I have this feeling of I don't want this anymore)

So There are these days when I wake up and wonder why am I here. Then there are these days I get my answer. So can I say... Thanks God for reminding me why I am alive.

2006-01-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Another Day closer to moving in. I'm excited and then again I'm almost sad. Will I miss apartment living? I don't think it's the apartment I'll miss but the closeness of the people around me.

Everything is coming around so fast. I'm really begining to think I've bitten off way more than I can chew. With my classes stretched out through out the day all the runing back and forth I feel like I'm just running out time.

At the same time I like the pressure to a point. The bussier I am the more I get done. Odd isn't it? I guess it makes me accountable for who I am as a person.

But on a lighter note I was out shooting pictures with my Photography partner he brought his 2 sons and nephew... and the littest one was passing out nuts for everyone... then I hear he yell out... .

"Hey guys! Now we all have nuts."

Classic.... ever seen a grown man in his early 30's whos a Maj in the US Army blush? I have and it was a hoot.

SC

2006-01-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

Monday! Monday already?!?!

This is what I think when my alarm first goes off.

"10 more mins." I'm begging half way groggy like the alarm clock is going to snooze its self.

I forget ... it will only give me 9.

After an hour I finally get up. Why can't it be another Monday holiday? I like holiday weekends that allow me to procrastinate just one more day.

My weekend was pretty normal, other than I got a deal to do some work for a local deli in town and my payment will be in meats and cheese, some pretty good stuff too! All I have to do is print up some priceing guides and a few specials of the week. Heck ya! I eat the stuff any way, why not do a trade. I would love to get with people that sell things and that have discounts and swap stuff with them. I'll give you my discount for your discount. So far I've hooked up with a lady that sells candles here in town my skin care stuff for her candles. We pass out each other business cards and such.

So here it is 4:32pm mountain time. I just finished my summary on Ansel Adams. (Thank Goodness for the internet) my class is at 6pm.

I found a cleaning lady that will clean my apartment for a pretty good deal after we move our stuff out of here. I normally wouldn't do that but you know.... I'm too tired and worn out. Out of focus out of time, out of balance. Well I'm thinking of shutting down my other blog. I haven't touched it in 3 months but it has some good times in it.

Well I'm going to lay down and chill for a bit before class.

Opinions, thoughts, suggestions? Hey anyone up for the "hot dog hut" this weekend?

Yawn...

2006-01-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

I am beat. Three classes and packing to move, trying to clean and get ready for the new house. We are set to close on Wednesday. Yep folks Wednesday. What the hell was thinking trying to do all of this at once. I would've been nice over Winter break I could've moved ... or spring.. but noooooooooooooooo!

On top of it all I have to meet up with people from my class and do projects. On the few saturdays I get. All I want to do is sleep. One day this will all be worth it right?

I hope to really back into the swing of things soon.

I'm still lurking on your blogs. Hope everyone has a good week.

Why I do not have Children...

2006-01-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

(I received this in an e-mail from my in-laws... which is odd cause I think they want me to have kids but this just confirms why I may be a mother at times but I will never be a mom. I will never have children!!!!!)

RAISING BOYS

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in! a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few timesbefore you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy! .

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Alway! s look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

Subject: Bathtub Test

2006-01-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug."

Do you want a room with or without a view?

I've had these days....

2006-01-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

This just cracked me up.

Hope you enjoy.

(p.s. I know 2 post in one day what will I do with myself.)

Just another Day....

2006-01-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

First thing I think when I'm up: "Ah man, just 30 more mins."

I've come to this realization that my alarm clock only lets me hit the snooze 3 times before it says screw you I'm not buzzing anymore.

The next thing I think is: " Working out with weights day."

It's better than cardio day. I guess. To be followed by a protien shake and some frozen fruit.
A hot shower, then off to Calculas. Oh man did I really do that to myself? Calculas? What the hell. No under water basket weaving? I keep telling myself I'm almost there. This will be worth it. Finish up my degree while I'm here in this little south park town.

I slept for crap last night. Everytime I have to do something new or different I can't sleep for anything.

And now instead of drinking my fruity shake I'm wanting scrambled eggs. yum.

So I'm off.

Have a good day!!!!

I'm ALIVE...

2006-01-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

OKay OKay, I've been away for way to long by the message I received.

After surviving Thanksgiving... Christmas was pretty decent. I got a few things that I wanted so over all it's not to bad. But for hubs it was a different story.

First I got him a gift certificate from a coffee shop, that convienantly went out of buisness a week after I bought the damn thing. Still fighting that....

Then I got him a harness for his vehicle and well that still hasn't come in and I ordered it Dec 12.
I finally got word that it was shipped out and he should receive this Friday.

New Years we hung out with 2 other couples and it was fun and relaxing playing cards and eatting to bring in the new year together with a few Drinky Poo's.

Class starts on Jan 9th, Calculas here I come!

But congratulate me .... I should be moving into my new house on Jan 25th. Hopefully it's going to be finished and everything will run smootly. So far the Tile is in hopefully by this weekend the cabnits will be in as well.

Then in the middle of Feb you'll have to pray for me.. my mother is coming to visit for a week. Lets talk about how I'm not looking forward to that visit. The criticleness (is that a word) there's just no pleasing her. If I lose weight ... it's not enough, if I cook a meal fit for baby Jesus, it could be better. Making my bed wont be right. But it wont be forever and after a week my house will still be there.

Well now that I've updated you, I'm off to search the IKEA website for things to buy for the new house.

(Sorry Norman, that I was away to long!)

Where has the time gone?

2005-12-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey! It's been forever it seems like. Sorry for just reading your post and running but sometimes... a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do.....

Lets Recap from Thanksgiving!

Hubs and I had Thanksgiving dinner with the neighbor who is also stationed here in the desert/mountains and it came out very very good. Problem...her husband was deathly ill due to the Flu shot the military made him get. (on Tuesday before Thanksgiving Thursday my hubs got the nasel spray live virus but we'll get into that later)

I've been walking with neighbor 3 miles a day on and off and on the day before TG I got really winded. I just couldn't catch my breath, this was not like me but I thought maybe I was tired... maybe I just needed some rest. hmmmmmm.

Thursday came and went ... I felt fine. Went shopping on Black Friday (day after TG) and that morning I felt fine too.... That night how ever the above events started to unfold. A slight tickle in my tonsils.... a little cough... man I'm really chilly but sweating....

Oh what the heck... I've got the FLU! Not just any FLU a flu that put me on my tail in bed for 4 days running a fever. But not one high enough to warrent the hospital. I didn't eat I slept alot got up to shower and change the sheets and drink water/ and sports drinks.

Hubs didn't get put down until another 30 hours later. Both of us in bed... wasting a perfectly good 4 day weekend. I hadn't been that sick in forever. Monday night I had to try to pull myself together to go sell some products... sometimes being an Independent Consultant sucks I don't work... I don't get money. Such as life.

On Tuesday... I had to go to class. Looked like hell but I started to come together. No more fever and well I wanted my test grade. None the less.... I passed my Col Alg class with a B. I'm extremely happy about that. I hosted a Candle Party by Mia Bella Candles... I got some nifty stuff. And I've done somore shopping and I think I'm about done.

I've been reading everyones blog. I'm going to try to update more and get somethings posted for you guys to see.

Take care of yourselves...

Spicy

Happy Turkey Day!

2005-11-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

'Twas The Night of Thanksgiving—
Author Unknown —
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned — the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees
...Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty, your turkey be plump.
Your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious, your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

2005-11-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

What does your name mean?

http://www.bostonuk.com/names/default.asp

Spicy Cracker :

With a quick mind, versatility and the courage to take risks your life is colourful and adventurous. In order to balance this you enjoy a tranquil retreat at times for your emotional wellbeing. Idealistic and humanitarian you have strong convictions and are prepared to stand up for them in pursuit of positive social change. Leadership ability is well marked. Your charm and sparkling personality wins people over and brings you many admirers.

(ok ok that charm and sparkling personality would be great right now with my "job" being I need some major clientel right now)

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Create your own slogan.

2005-11-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

Go to the following link and type in your name in the box provided and click the sloganize button.
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

Behold the Power of Spicy Cracker! (How true How true!)

I took the liberty of typing in a few of your names and lets just say I about pee'd on myself from laughing so hard.

Start ----> Hands that do dishes can be as soft as your Hot Biscuit. (o m g)
You like Norman. Norman likes you. (oh yea right... they haven't read your blog.)

Just one of those things. Maybe I'll redo my blog and use my slogan.

If you wanna see the names in the above sentances just high light and drag across. heheh

Sc